Concert review of NIN in Columbus, Ohio
 

12/13/08 12:37 AM

The Other Paper is a local newspaper in Columbus, Ohio. It's a free periodical and the music critic publishes some awful reviews. I thought, the peoples in the print media forum would like to read it.

Here's the article by John Petric (from The Other Paper) --


"A night of bumping, grinding and purging"


Published: Wednesday, November 19, 2008 3:40 PM EST

Infantile rage over an unfulfilled longing for Mommy’s unattainable pierced nipple pushed Nine Inch Nails into the tedium zone Monday night at the Schott. Intense though the Nails may be, in the end they were essentially INXS with a devilish musical dildo.

What really made the show was a husky stripper-type who did her thing in the aisle a few rows below me. Built like a Polish draft horse in bucket-sized shoe-boots, her constant spread-legged stance—like she was taking a standing dump in the woods—did not allow for much expressive movement, but it sure made an open-air statement, if you know what I mean.

But then again, even though the Nails’ Trent Reznor manages to pull off a certain artiness in his cleverly textured punk-techno-rant-rock, art wasn’t what the music was about. It was about purging—endless, bottomless, pointless purging. Get whatever you got and get it out in the open—now!

The would-be stripper’s moves matched the music, in other words. And because I found the Nails so incuriously boring and her moves so humorously stupid, I felt like I wasn’t wasting my time. Thanks, hooker-type person.

When she grabbed the railing in front of her and then dropped to her considerable haunches, grinding them to and fro, I named the move “The Horny Cactus.” Soon she was back up and pushing her groin frontally into the railing in time to a hard guitar smack-down. This I called “The Fireman’s Ball.” Very erotic if you believe sexual arson a good thing in a trailer-park community.

Then she was just sliding up and down some imaginary massive 9-inch wiener, her head thrown back in stripper’s ecstasy. You could’ve called it “Head Like a Hole.” But this is Trent’s power—he grabs you by the entrails and rips out your guts. Can’t say I felt it the same way she did, but she’s the stripper, and it’s her grind that counts.

As Trent’s set progressed from huge beats and screaming hard guitars to his more, ahem, introspective side of quieter keyboards, the music took on the sensitivity of a haiku convention for today’s young ho’s. As a consequence, the stupid bitch sat down and assumed a mellow, if bovine, air.

I missed her exhibitionism. The show just wasn’t the same without her donating her bloated visuals.

Up to that point, the music had been howling with a menacing impotence, Trent screaming his disaffected feelings about not getting what he wanted or needed in life when he wanted or needed it. And the audience was with him every arrested-development step of the way.

“Your time is ticking away,” he sang over and over to a slowed stomp, and in a very creepy voice. Now that I think about it, when he wasn’t screaming like a prison rapist, he was always just being creepy, like a guy who’d dress in pink and name his dog after his favorite doofus stripper.

It was about purging—endless, bottomless, pointless purging. Get whatever you got and get it out in the open—now!


A few mellow instrumentals made up the softer middle part of his show. It was just filler, as empty as the loud stuff, but both profited from his successful style-equals-substance approach.

So I’ve got to give the guy his props. He’s brilliantly recycled Kraftwerk, Eno-produced Bowie, punk, industrial and techno, interweaving guitars with keyboards and monster drums for one big, commercially successful brand of emotional enema music. Ugly as hell yet seamlessly constructed, and there’s something to be said for that.

His visually fabulous light show of computerized screens and scrims only served to accent how shallow the whole goddam affair was, though. And corny, too. This is rock music for strippers and those for whom emotion is equal to what comes out of one’s ass—bigger being better; harder being the best.

This music belongs to another time—life doesn’t call for this sort of thing anymore, I’m afraid.

--John Petric



My response that was published on 12.11.2008 --

In regards to Petric's review of the Nine Inch Nails concert - I could go on and on telling how wrong and how uneducated Petric is about NIN and many other bands...but I won't. He'll never learn.

Instead, I'll just say that I'm sorry. I'm sorry that he knows nothing. I'm also sorry The Chipmunks aren't on tour. Maybe that concert is more Petric's style?

 

12/13/08 3:54 AM

Woooow. That guy missed the whole point of the show.

Maybe if he spent less time watching that woman dance, he would've gotten a better experience.

 

12/13/08 8:45 PM

Hey, don't be knockin' the Chipmunks. Chipmunk Punk was a great album.

Anywho, this should probably be moved to here.

But yeah, while no one is required to enjoy NIN - or get it - something is wrong with that guy.

 

12/13/08 11:48 PM

joshatlha posted:
... I'm sorry that [John Petric] knows nothing.

He knows more than you think, Josh, I did some reading. winking smiley It's one thing to be a music critic but quite another to attack. Why is John so personal, I wondered.

Such disdain from Petric, the "master of irreverence" --- he wasn't criticizing but burying Nine Inch Nails. The "Polish draft horse" jaded his review but he has another chip on his shoulder ... he's a long-time Bush supporter.

He'd know Reznor does not support Bush; he'd be familiar with Year Zero's theme; MTV wouldn't permit Bush's image; the Grammy's are an ass-licking industry and Bush morphed into McCain as the election drew near.
____________________

"I need to do something big" Petric announced to his boss, and the "desire to embed with the 24th Marine Expeditionary Unit, the country's hottest fighting team." One of John's dispatches from Afghanistan on the Muslim Prayer Call:

I'm not going to pretend the 3 weeks here [Afghanistan] will make me 1/10 of an expert on anything, but I feel like I've been inoculated --- against stupidity, I hope.

Culture is everything to everybody -- we just don't admit it like "they" do.

____________________

His comment on a huge protest against the invasion and occupation of Iraq:

Thanks for the pix and color commentary. Six weeks from now there'll be V1-Day ... Victory in Iraq. And then brace yourself for more real-life horror stories than you've heard since Hitler.

posted by John Petric - February 17, 2003



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 12/14/2008 08:53AM by sonus.

 
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