5 things that could go wrong with the new Van Halen album
5. David Lee Roth Tries to Actually Sing
Don't get us wrong — David Lee Roth presided vocally over the best six albums Van Halen ever made, but you can't call what he does, as tasteful and exciting as it is, singing, exactly. Problem is, working with a strong voice like Sammy Hagar's seems to have spoiled Eddie Van Halen a bit; how else can you explain whatever Elvis-loungey-croon thing he's trying to get Roth to do on 1996's reunion track 'Me Wise Magic?' Hopefully “Diamond Dave” is allowed to play to his own strengths on the new Van Halen album.
4. The Songs Are Too Long
Van Halen's self-titled debut album needed just under 36 minutes to change rock as we knew it. In fact, the six David Lee Roth-era albums clock in at an average time of under 34 minutes. By contrast, the “Van Hagar” records run about 50 minutes each, and 'Van Halen III,' with Gary Cherone, occupies nearly an hour. This longer approach may have worked with those two, more pure singers, but as the pair of five-minute-plus songs on 1996's 'Best of Volume 1' (yes, we're bringing those up again) proves, it doesn't suit Roth quite so well.
3. Alex Van Halen Breaks Out the Synth-Drums
Of all the fears we have about the new Van Halen album, the prospect of Alex Van Halen breaking out his computerized drum pads, seen hear marring an otherwise organic, rocking live performance of the title track to 1986's '5150,' is admittedly the most far-fetched. In fact, we're pretty sure we saw him throw these things in the trash sometime in the early '90s.
2. Michael Anthony's Backing Vocals Can't Be Replaced
It makes perfect sense that Eddie Van Halen would want his son Wolfgang, an amazingly talented musician, to play bass on the new Van Halen record. But two things concern us about the first-time absence of founding bassist Michael Anthony. First off, it was his solid, unflashy style that allowed Eddie to roam so freely on guitar, and second, his soaring back-up vocals covered up for Roth's shortcomings on many records, as well as for the lead singer/showman's lack of lyrical interest (“I forgot the f—ing words!”) at many concerts.
1. Eddie Takes Over Lead Vocals Again
It's not that Eddie's voice is all that bad — in fact it's rather reminiscent of the half-spoken delivery of Pink Floyd's Roger Waters. But, my goodness was 'How Many Say I,' from Van Halen's last studio album, 'Van Halen III,' a deadly combination of apparent earnestness and a total lack of self-awareness. This is why you can't surround yourself with “Yes men,” all you future rock stars!
Buy 'How Many Say I' on iTunes
5 Things that could go right with the new Van Halen album:
5. 'Diamond Dave' is back!
That's right, for the first time in more than 27 years, the Van Halen brothers will be reunited with original lead singer David Lee Roth on their new album. These guys crawled up from the clubs to sold-out arenas together, and batted six-for-six in terms of awesome albums, so, really, what's the sense in betting against them to succeed again?
4. Now with 50% more Van Halen!
Yes, the loss of original bassist and back-up vocalist Michael Anthony (who's currently cavorting with second VH singer Sammy Hagar in Chickenfoot) will hurt Van Halen. Luckily, Eddie Van Halen literally bred the perfect replacement: his own son, Wolfgang, a 20-year-old virtuoso who's reportedly going to be given more musical room to roam than his predecessor.
Buy 'Runnin' With the Devil' on iTunes
3. They do a kick-ass cover or two
Reportedly, the band has toyed for years with the idea of adding Wilson Pickett's soul classic 'In the Midnight Hour' to their list of awesomely-done cover songs. From 'You Really Got Me' to 'Pretty Woman' and 'You're No Good,' cover tunes have always been a highlight of new Van Halen records, and we're ready for another unique reinvention on their next album.
Buy 'In the Midnight Hour' on iTunes
2. They grow up … but not too much
Van Halen were somehow able to pull off signing school-boy songs like 'Hot for Teacher' as fully grown men back in the early '80's, but almost three decades later it's hard to imagine that s— flying very far anymore. So, obviously the band's lyrics and maybe even musical style needs to grow up … but only a bit. After all, who wants a Van Halen album that isn't based on hard-rock riffs? Still, hopefully some measure of maturity, perhaps something resembling 'Secrets' from 'Diver Down,' is in the cards.
Buy 'Secrets' on iTunes
1. The spirit of their last tour continues
Against all odds, after more than two decades of acrimonious bickering, not to mention the respective parties following wildly divergent career paths, three of the original members of Van Halen got back together in 2007 for a reunion tour that raised eyebrows as much as anticipation. And yet, from the first moment the new Van Halen broke into 'You Really Got Me' on stage together, there was no question that their chemistry remained intact. If they can keep that spirit going, there's no reason the new Van Halen album won't be great.
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Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/21/2011 10:54AM by RhettButler.