C H A S E N I N E
PRESENTS: "TIRED SEX BETRAYAL RAZOR", PART TWO OF THREE.
FEATURING SPIRITUAL WORDS OF PAIN, REFLECTION, JOY, AND DESTRUCTION.

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All the deathly impressions, the makeshift moon in it's holy atmosphere,
Stands aloft the Bridge to the Galaxy. And God awaits.
Does this make me not worthy?
The emptiness a broken sword, an exhaustion; so depleted it begins to freeze
Like a terrible phone call. Uncomfortable and uncontrollable - the only outcome SCREAMS imperfection.

AND I SCREAM IMPERFECTION.

MY VITAL SIGNS DROP; I TAKE MY LIFE AND END THE STRAIGHTFORWARDNESS. DISSIPATING THE HURT INSIDE OF MY BODY WILL BE THE GREATEST CHALLENGE OF ALL,
AND NO LONGER CAN I BREATHE ANYMORE. YOU'VE TAKEN EVERYTHING, I STILL CAN'T BREATHE.

Return to the water. BEWARE the god forsaken water. I stretch forth my boundaries, I REACH. I reach.

This time is so different. The light shines forth, and imperfect bugs crawl around searching for new homes. The intelligence neglects the patient, and I am here to stay. I have found my path, I make my path. I destroy the lies, I destroy the happiness, I bring this world to it's knees. I retreat. A hero takes one step higher, his altitude an example for the rest of us. A flag that shines with its' indefinite power, it's most incredible presence gleaming with brightness for ALL to feel. Those on planets that take years to arrive upon, those who stopped listening to the words and those who burned the books on a stage of gold and merchandise. These things will all burn in the end.

I don't know.

THE CRAVING SO DEEP IT FEELS LIKE PINK AND BLUE,
AN EXHILERATED HEARTBEAT, STRONGER THAN ANYBODY ELSE'S THAT COMES NEAR,
IT FEELS THE SAME, AND YET IT FEELS SO NEW,
I HEAR IT CALL FOR NEW FLESH.
THE FEELINGS,
I CAN'T HELP BUT RETRACT; AND THE HEART IS CONSTANTLY CONFUSED...
I'M SORRY, I JUST WANT TO BURN IT AWAY.
I JUST WANT TO GET WITH YOU AND MAKE THE TORMENT GO AWAY...
YOU HAVE FOUND YOUR WHITE COUCH,
YOU HAVE FOUND YOUR COMFORT ZONE,
SO I JUST STAY AND GIVE LOVE,
SO WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH YOU?
I'M SORRY. I DON'T FEEL THE SAME.
I DON'T FEEL THE SAME.
I JUST DON'T FEEL THE SAME.
AND TO LET YOU IN WOULD BE BLASPHEMY,
AND TO KEEP YOU OUT WOULD BE A STOLEN LIE,
A BROKEN PROMISE,
A SIMPLE THREAT,
THAT MAKES US ALL CRY AND FEAR AND FRET...
MY HEART BLEEDS MALEVOLENCE,
YET I FOLLOW AND FEEL.

I'm sorry, I just throw it away.
The flashforward to a new beginning,
The big 8 destroying my memories of this mulchy, dusty place,
This murky, decaying lobby... and yet it feels new. A video so bathed in blood,
I think I may need to turn it off.
And what such form can destroy a thought or feeling?
What type of Lime can possibly change the concrete belief's?
What type of concrete world can possibly shatter the memories, the past, the beginnings?
I just need a new focus.
CAN SOMEBODY HELP ME? I DON'T KNOW WHAT LIGHT SHINES UPON MY WICKED EYESIGHT,
I cannot see the hindsight, I am nowhere near aware of the orange consequences.
I follow and feel.

This cup of water will only feed so many.
Do you think they will come in the days of our lives?
Is retirement a pretty penny or is it a destructive, vegetative state?
I need something.
I'm trying and crying and dying and praying for the dust to settle; there is no more blue sky to stretch my arms and reach toward. THERE ARE NO MORE ANGELS TO PULL ME TOWARD THE CUMULONIMBUS CLOUDS, THERE ARE NO MORE INDIANS TO GUIDE MY THOUGHTS, NO MORE GHOSTS TO PLEASE THE ADJUSTED HEARTACHE, NO MORE DEMONS TO HAUNT MY WAKING HEART. NO MORE FIRSTS, AND NO MORE LASTS. This is the end.

I thought it would be a game; instead it's the same old cancer. I dream, a nightmare rather, and I feel it's so different. When I awaken, I realize it's all the same, and the flesh has not been born. Just to walk around a circle. A simple waterworld; it keeps flowing round and round and round, and it leaves me with nothing but a void. A hooded person, a shrouded soul. The one who was chosen, THE ONE WHO WAS CHOSEN. It is decieving, but the path leads to JOY. It is hard to see, but the path is RIGHTEOUS, and throughout the lies and the cuts,
The power, the darkness, the pain,
A small SPLASH occurs,
And all turns to it's natural luster. A shining so bright,
It shakes the very foundations of the thousand-year-old-planet.

And as I listen to Mother Earth cry and scream,
As I listen to my best friend hurt from all the shit she had to endure,
I finally realize that it is not about the pain,
It is not about the hurt or the destruction,
It is all down to the one and only thing it ever was meant to be;
Reaching for something new.
Reaching for something so different, so alive, so grand and happy. Something so serene.
Something so happy.
Something so new.

YOU CAN'T HEAR THEM SPEAK. THEY FALL AWAY.
This time will end so differently, like a simple plan - executed without flaw. The puzzles handled and defeated, every player knows the way through, BUT THE WALLS CHANGE. They improve.
THE WALLS DEFEAT THE VOID. THE DESERT OPENS ITS' OWN NERVOUS SYSTEM, AND ALL THAT'S LEFT IS A SLOWED-DOWN VERSION, A REALITY SO COARSE AND TERRIBLY CLEAN IT FEELS ALMOST LIKE A COMPLETE ACCIDENT. PAINFUL AND UNINTENTIONAL IN NATURE, YET SO PURPOSEFULLY FULFILLED AS A CIRCUMSTANTIAL CONSEQUENCE. And the Sheriff of this WORLD will play his part. So will the dentist. So will the clerk. Do the pawns end in their intended places? Can the King see the outcome? The board is free, the choices are not planned. The fate was a fake, the toys just pushed our imaginations. The indestructible things that live in brains can't be taken away.

Or were they? Was choice a shroud? Do the answers add up to nothing? Did the Queen slit the King's throat? Something kicked from the depths of the floor, and this dark cold room no longer shakes and dances the way it used to.
Each day the sequence changes.
I just feel.

NO more clouds, NO more thoughts. NO more heartache, NO more heart.
No first,
No last.
I've got to say it.
I must force myself to say the words,
I can feel it swallow me,
I can feel the death,
The void so strong,
The murder so important,
Interesting that fate hasn't joined in on this one.
Interesting to see that God hates me.
I'll never find the crack in the wall,
Never find the same path that led me here.
Try to cut the brush the same way,
Try to find the ancient city just the way She found it,
TRYING TO FIND IT, TRYING TO SAVE HER,
TRYING TO SAVE HER AND TRYING SO MUCH LONGER, SO MUCH HARDER,
TO SAVE HER.

An alien, so alone... sent to protect, sent to investigate,
This friend of ours is no longer at home,
This place of deceit and madness ill not advert to it's green pastures,
The 'no direction' of the green planet still does not know why it's alive,
Like a monster. Teeth outstreched, it kills for ALL the strangest reasons,
BITING IN THE STRANGEST PLACES.

To what ends? The stretcher still lit up with disrespect and absolute stillness.
The flash no longer streaming and beaming in your eyelid,
Why don't you just leave me alone?
The neighbors can't see the illuminescence?
Holding on to simple things,
HOLDING ON TO BOUNDARIES AND THICK DRINKS THAT CHANGE YOUR VIEWPOINTS,
LEAVE ME ALONE.
SEND THE DIGITAL COMMUNICATIONS, LISTEN AND FEEL THE BEATS AND THE SOUNDS OF THE COMPREHENSIVE AGREEMENT. SIMPLISTIC ENOUGH IT COULD KILL OFF THE HORDE,
WE FIGHT THE HORDE.
A FORTRESS OF TAR, THE SKY FILLED WITH KINDNESS AND CARESSING BEINGS,
THOSE WHO WATCH OVER US,
THOSE WHO DIE FIGHTING,
THE EVOLUTION OF A SPECIES WHO NEVER FOUND OUT HOW TO REFINE THEMSELVES.
AND IT FEELS SO WRONG TO CHANGE THE CRASH,
TO FIX THE BROKEN PARTS,
YET THEY DO NOT EXPECT,
THEY DO NOT DENY.
THEY COMMONLY EXPLORE, THEY COLLECT AND DETERIORATE,
THE REAL GOOD VIEW IS REALIZED,
AND THE INSIDE WORDS ARE SPOKEN WITH SUCH BENEVOLENCE.
THE VIRUS IS THEN KILLED.
THE PANIC WILL GO ASTRAY.
THE DERANGEMENT, THE ENTRAPMENT FINALLY CEASES,
THE CASTLES ARE NO LONGER CRUMBLING,
THE CIVIL UNREST WILL KINDLY STEP ASIDE,
WE DECIDE AND DETERIORATE ALL THE SIN,
LAS VEGAS IS CRIPPLED, IT'S RENTERS PULLING DOWN IT'S WALLS,
TAKE A LOOK AROUND,
Everything has stayed the same.

I've already got this.
Pull up the rifle, I squeeze the animosity from my head.
Destroy the pain, let the sweat take away all the sounds,
Let the sweat take all my heat, and all my hate,
All my world and all my shame,
And fire it upon the enemy.
And now I move forward,
Her cell phone rings every single night in vain.
Sometimes an echo raises itself to the lines,
Sometimes a visage appears in Her stain,
Though nothing can CHANGE THIS.

Sleeping without a light, just staying awake for the sake of keeping my own sight.
A new BLADE displays it's potential - a piece of art,
SO INTENSE, SO PRESSURIZED AND FULL OF STANCE, IT'S MILITARY VIEWPOINT WILL DESTROY WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT.
TAKE THE CUP AND THROW IT IN THE FACE,
YOUR PET SNAKE REALIZES IT WAS RIPPED AWAY,
YOU COUNT YOUR PENNIES IN A CLUTTERED, EMPTY AREA.
YET HOLD ON.

My new cup of tea,
Digging into the palm of those who know,
And also pushing the minds of those who do not know.
Without caution,
A scare...
A door that would not shut,
The lock that just wouldn't close...
And I see the faces of those who complain.
I feel the same treachery that haunted my ancestors.
Prayer to show me a new affection.

The animals that slowly build a way out of the cage,
A place so green and full of life,
Snow and overwhelming emotion,
The new 'everything's fine' that I've heard so often.
Taken from new songs and new treasure chests,
Taken from a map,
Centuries old,
AND SO DIFFICULT TO LOCATE,
RUNNING INSIDE THE DARKEST BUILDING,
THE ONE WHERE THE TWO GIRLS BEGAN TO PARTY
AND LEFT THE SAME HOUSE FEELING BETRAYED,
DESTROYED,
CUT APART,
AND FALSE.
False happiness, left without a single word.
The puzzle of color was not theirs to bear,
The flying children nowhere to be found,
The two dogs out back, no longer barking...
The hallway of influnza,
And my love stands so still in it's center.
SHE SO EASILY OVERCOMES THE MADNESS,
AND I SO EASILY OVERLOOK HER BEAUTY.

Now I must let her go,
Now I must let it go,
Now I must sever my relation to
Everything I've ever known,
Every joy I've ever cried,
In order to restore.

Wake up in the middle of the road,
Thousands walk and run around me,
Thousands speak and yell and cry and talk,
And amidst the chaos, the madness,
I find myself between all the people,
And I find myself alone.

Jumping in the back will never be so difficult.
I cut the bread, I drink from the zeroes and ones,
I slash the narrows and begin to see from a new watchtower:
I Reach.

Covered in the same old chemical,
Sent from THE SAME PLACE AS ALWAYS,
BRINGING TO LIFE A NEW NEEDLE, A COMPLETE WEAPON THAT WAS SO WELL THOUGHT UP,
THOUGH POORLY IMPLEMENTED,
And a drain sucks me down.
WHY AM I HERE?
THERE IS NO WAY TO MAKE UP FOR THE LOST TIME,
I'M NOT TRYING TO CHANGE THE SCENERY WHEN I KNOW YOUR MOOD LIGHTING REFLECTS SO DIFFERENTLY FROM MY OWN. AND NOW ALL I CAN DO IS SCREAM AND FREEZE MYSELF TO DEATH AND LISTEN TO YOUR PESTILLENCE AND PUSH FORWARD A FINGERTIP TO RAISE THE BLESSINGS, THE TINES THAT WILL NEVER JUSTIFY A RESEMBLANCE.

And now I resemble ..... I resemble no longer.

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C9 2010. 'tired sex betrayal razor'™ written and produced by chase m., morgan, ut



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 06/14/2010 11:35AM by ChaseNine.

I've really enjoyed reading this.