poems:by p.q.
 
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06/07/11 11:04 PM

Ashes that missed the tray
Symbol for a life spent...burning
Tar starts to build
That turns hard when cold
Sticky when warm

Young faithful stray enters
Sits in the normal spot
To whine and beg attention
Receives a pat on the head
Then walks away,out the pet door

Lit another smoke
How long ago was the last one
Five idle minutes
While waiting for water to boil
While inner being boils

Dust coats everything to the touch
The last winds while the windows where open
When living on a dead end street
The wind gets cornered
Then attacks from all sides

Loyal stray is back
The eye's for attention
Arriving after protecting outside
And making sure all is the same
After leaving just a few minutes ago

If it was so easy to find a place
Somewhere,something
To justify why
Why life turns the way it does
Why life turns in,sometimes,instead of turns out

Fill the cup with hot caffeine
At a time in the night that should be for sleep
Sleep...ya...sleep...
How would that be
To turn out when wanting too

Slow summer begins
Almost to late to start
Won't be enough time
Before starting to feel it end
Then,endure the harsh winter
That almost never snows
That will,does,continue to freeze
Everything within,that I know


P.Q. 060711
#89

 

06/07/11 11:22 PM

Wait:

Hard to believe
It's coming near
Can smell it
Feel it in the air
The hint of warmth
The faint dream
Not much
But it's there

It's here
Way to soon

I know what this is bringing
On a cold March winters night
My worst fear maybe true
The fact
For a small summer
Little pieces here and there
Not enough to fill the dream
I need to break this frozen shell
Need the warmth you have for me

Here
Sometime soon

I can't wait
I need the sun
Need it to burn a hole into me
Need it close
Cut right through
Burn right through to me
Got to break this icy grip
Got to change the moon's appeal
With it's winds I'd want to feel

Bring it here
Sometime soon

I got to stop the feeding
Feeding of the frozen dreams
Got to have the sun
To make them want to grow
The cold lonely winter night
Has cut me far to deep
I don't seem to see
Need this darkness lite in me

Bring it all here
Sometime soon

I hope one day I am able
I'm able to write the song
Writing something of somewhere deep
Somewhere winter's not to be found
Something happy and laugh
Maybe something about a squirrel
But be aware
I hardly change
Except maybe with the sun
You'll be reading my dark burnt places
Just the same
But without the frozen frame

Come on
Bring it all
All on here


P.Q. 031005
03-09 HHEHE-09 21:00

 

06/19/11 2:41 PM

Walked big city streets
In the rain
The snow
Sweltering summer heat
Watched cornerstones pretend
Sitting on foundations
Holding their girth
Pretending the sun warms them
Giving their cold truth away
With a touch

Walked big desert canyons
In the rain
The snow
Scorching summer heat
Watched mountain peaks pretend
Sitting on Earth's foundation
Holding the skies girth
Pretending the sun warms them
Giving their cold touch away
Being touched

How much trash in the cities gutter
In the lost
The forgotten
Smothering discards
Watched the fall
From slipping on life's banana peel
As the affluent and the apathetic pretend
Pretend that they are warm
Giving their cold truth away
Without a touch

How much trash in the gutter of the soul
In the regret
The unforgiving
Smoldering discards of love
Watched the fall of rotted bones
Slipping at life's old age
From remembering it all
As the memories commingle
At what was
What could have been
Pretending that there once was warmth
Giving away the cold truth
From never having been...touched


P.Q. 061811
#90

 

06/19/11 3:01 PM

Mined:

Turning
Turning
Turning in on myself
For to many years
Picking and scratching at scabs that aren't there
And digging a hole for my soul
In myself
Turning
In on myself
No wonder I resort to other means

Means to hide myself
To hide scars only I can see
Cover flesh wounds I have in mind
Turn my soul
From living to death
Instead of living to live
Take anything and all
To cover the holes in my wall

My chemical freedom
That helps build my wall
That makes me turn into myself
That takes me farther from myself
Takes me beyond my control
Myself
My soul
My holes that I own

Of self made stone
Stone of heart and soul
Stone that lets me sink deep
I turn thinking it's what I own
Turn over at the bottom of the waters
Water my life had led me
Turning in on myself
Water,soul,and stone

NO
STAND BACK
Look one more time
Stand and look at yourself
Tell me you can't be the same
Dragging yourself down past your self control
Thinking your life is paid even
But no one can tally up any ones score
The debt will be paid in time
Can you allow yourself what is needed
To redefine how you end
How it will be
Good luck

So read your sunrise
If you are young
Read your sunset
If that is to be
Me
I'm crawling out of one of my holes
One day at a time
And with what you have
You share with me
Filling that hole back up
To keep me from turning in on myself
And allowing me
To turn to you



P.Q. 022706
#55

 

06/19/11 6:01 PM

These two works are beautifull. You inspire me to improve my writing.smiling smiley

 

06/19/11 6:28 PM

anew posted:
These two works are beautifull. You inspire me to improve my writing.smiling smiley

Please...compared to you I am an amateur...but,I do love hearing from you and appreciate your input and comments,thank you...

 

06/19/11 6:41 PM

there's this old looney tunes cartoon where these two gophers are ever earnest and polite..and go back and forth eternally with politeness..it's a favorite of mine I think its called Lumber jerks-..you can check it out on youtube if you like *
I need more garden, more landscape, tapestry in my writing. Like said i'm inspired.

I especially like "So read your sunrise if you are young read your sunset if that is to be." I've never read your writings as if they could be sang, I like to sing these two would sound nice sang. It's great as one in love with writing when your pen 'sings'..good feelings.

Anew



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/19/2011 07:56PM by anew.

 

06/19/11 7:18 PM

anew posted:
there's this old looney tunes cartoon where these two gophers are ever earnest and polite..and go back and forth eternally with politeness..it's a favorite of mine I think its called Lumberjacks.
I need more garden, more landscape, tapestry in my writing. Like said i'm inspired.

I especially like "So read your sunrise if you are young read your sunset if that is to be." I've never read your writings as if they could be sang, I like to sing these two would sound nice sang. It's great as one in love with writing when your pen 'sings'..good feelings.

Anew

You are SO right about having the pen 'sing'...to me that is what makes a poem,any writing as a matter of fact. Reading a piece of writing that jumps around and has no meaning to it is a hard piece to read.Sometimes that is the intent,to jump around from here to there,but that works with people who know the writer well and can relate to the picture that the writer intends.

Having the many different styles of writings and people here,on this forum,does give to a much bigger canvas to draw from.Many of my newer writings are from many people here who have allowed me to see from a different point of view,one of those persons is you!

 

06/19/11 8:00 PM

You are kind. Glad the sharing here is as it is. I edited my previous note of Lumber jacks that wasn't the right show title. Fare well smiling smiley

 

06/21/11 1:58 AM

I see my Grandfather
Sitting in his chair,in his self made gazebo
Drinking his strong coffee
Smoking non filtered cigarettes

See his face
The beard stubble that never grew
That was never shaved
The lines of his life drawn deep

Lines from starting his family
Back in his home country
Lines from starting his family
In his new country

The glasses he wore
Lenses so thick I couldn't understand
How he would talk with the accent of his native land
How he would talk to me,in the broken accent of his new land

I see my Grandfather
Sitting in his chair,in his self made gazebo
With grape vines growing on all sides
As he would inspect them for when the time was ripe

Watch his face
As his family gathers around the table
Enjoying the fruit of his labor
Enjoying the labor of his art

How my father allowed
Allowed his father's art
To wither away and die
How I wish I had paid attention,and learned

My father wanting me to be more then he was
More then his own father was
How my father didn't know
How much his own father really was

I see my Grandfather,now
As I sit in a chair
Drinking my coffee
Smoking my cigarette

See his face
For the first time
Because,now,I understand
Reaching an age,maybe to late,to know who he was

To hopefully know who I am
Sitting as I once saw my Grandfather
But it's not the same
Only a remembrance,that caught me when I wasn't looking

The chair I sit in is not mine
Carport that I'm under,is not mine
Backyard that I'm looking at,not mine
Faint feelings from a distant past,mine

If I would have had children
What if I do have children
How much of a child that I still am
Could I have been a Grandfather
To be a wise old sage to the next generation
To have my life be some experience
For helping the next of kin
I'm not even sitting at my own house
Tell me,how can you explain to another
When I can't even explain it to myself


P.Q. 062111
#91

 

06/21/11 2:20 AM

Caprice:


BROKEN
AGAIN

No,not again
Why can't this,THING
Stay in one piece
Just when you think
It's under control
Too late
It's

Broken
Again

Can't seem to make it work
Try this way
Try that
Every time I turn around
When you think
It can't happen again
It's

Broken
Again

Look,for what I am able to do
To try to make parts fit
Fit the way they are suppose to
You end up taking more apart
And getting in deeper
To your limit
It's

broken...
again

As you start to hurt
From placement that is,unnatural
Digging in the slippery basis for some hold
To place what you need to fit
Next thing you know
You have past your endurance
It's

broken...
again...

I DON'T GET IT
This should be an easy task
The more I fight it
The more I'm drawn down into it
It's not letting go of me
Losing my mind
It's

broken...
AGAIN

So,I have to think
How can I turn this around
What needs to be done
To stop this fight
I can't allow to be undone
Won't be able to live with myself
It's

BROKEN
AGAIN

And I'm allowing it to best me
Stand back
Stand down
Take a smoke
Take a break
Wait
It's

Broken
Again

Right
It's already broken
So tired of having to
Patch it back together
Baling wire
And bubblegum
It's

Broken
Again

But now,I've got it
For a one of a kind deal
A one of a kind fix
So,I do turn it around
Place it backwards
But

Now
Something else

As I try to remember
How should it all be placed back
While double checking
So as not to forget anything
I start to realize
How much it all means to me,how lucky
To be where I am,as I stand back
Checking one more time
Before the start
To finally close the hood
Call it good


P.Q. 032110
#60



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/21/2011 02:26AM by ghostshot.

 

07/17/11 4:37 AM

What is it that touches the soul
A friendly smile
Warm hello
Sincere thank you
A gesture of a door being held open when your arms are full
What is it

What is it that scars the soul
Memories of a warm smile
Eye's that said hello
Sincere embrace that said thank you
Holding the covers in anticipation
To have your arms full
What is it

What was it that touched the soul
A special smile only for you
Hello with a kiss
Thank you that needed no words
Gesture with arms not wanting to let go
What was it

What was those scars
That once cut the soul
What was it
That made the first cut
How many scars from how many cuts
Can anyone count how many
After so many
One upon another

As the heart becomes hardened
From elasticity,cut,then healed
Then cut again
Layers upon layers
Reformed,reshaped
Becomes unrecognizable
For the soul cannot follow
Becomes lost
Hiding behind the shadows
Of memories best forgotten
That arrive at 3 in the morning
From a song that was better unheard
That is to late
Better yet,to early
To be realized
Of how bad it has screwed up
What tiny bit of soul that is left
Then forfeited
All alone
One summer morning
When summer has hardly begun
Knowing that it's late and already ending
That you are to late
Already ending
Spending what you already had...on nothing
And being your own shadow
On memories that won't...or can't...or wish
Where forgotten


P.Q. 071711
#92

 

08/23/11 6:23 AM

They come just before sleep
Laid down to regain from the day
Mind starts to unwind
Words start to flow

Feel the emptiness,the middle of the chest
Feel the pit of the empty soul
The knots for the stomach
From never eating well

Thinking to remember
The words,lines
As they flow,perfect
Then waking up remembering,too much
Not enough

They where perfect
Words that flowed for all
How they all fell right into place
As if I was born to do this
Awakening,with nothing to show

How they help as some kind of lullaby
Better to make up things
Then to bring in the past
The past...past
Why can't it stay away
Doomed to repeat it

Not able to sleep
Not able to forget
Rise,to occupy some more time
As I look at paper and pen
Wishing to write for the age
As I look at my BHP in .40 S&W

Naw,light another smoke
Bring water to boil for tea
Watch the beautiful pictures of the screen saver
And stare
At what?
...at what...
At all of my minds images

I know it
I know what the problem is
Easy to look back
To dissect and rearrange
Thinking,'I'll never let it happen again'
But I have a hard time admitting
I am lazy

Everything to look back upon
How easy it was to walk away
To just drop it and let it flow away
As to walking out of an old skin
Shedding as a cold blooded reptile
And not even know
That I was adding a new rattle
Because I'm lazy

All those times watching it slip away
To have had more grip
To hang on a little bit tighter
Instead of watching a piece of heart walk away
It wouldn't have been so bad
But I stood there for a little while longer
And watched as you drove further down the road
And toss that bit of heart out the window

Because I'm lazy
My effort of nonexistence
So easy to cover ones self with pity
Other than to stand up and proclaim
That this was not going to be
Not going to allow this to happen
DAMN,DAMN IT,DAMN IT ALL TO HELL...
SHIT...just snapped a ball point pen in half
...wow...
Snapped a ball point pen in half

Dig around for another one
Hope and pray to be a different ink
...no...
Still writes black


P.Q. 082311
#93

 

08/23/11 7:33 AM

purple with yellow gold shimmer on the outside smiling smiley
intense writing* and fun at the end.

 

08/23/11 9:33 AM

anew posted:
purple with yellow gold shimmer on the outside smiling smiley
intense writing* and fun at the end.

thank you,sleep depredation...

 

09/11/11 3:06 AM

Of what should be remembered
What should be forgotten
There is a time and place for some
Some...replace time and space











P.Q.

 

09/17/11 10:56 AM

Sitting with some old,long time friends
Talking of the absence
Of even older,long time ago friends
An understanding comes to mind
The life long trudge
Of an uphill battle
The never ending clash
To maintaining,'The Relationship'

All this time spent
Training for the final assault
Training...and training...training some more
Until it becomes rote

Have been
Wandering so far out there
For such length of time
Can't find which way back
From looking
...looking back...

Is it in the gut
The gut feeling...gut wrenching...gut tied in knots
Is it in the heart
The soothed heart...mending heart...broken heart
Maybe the soul
Bought soul...traded soul...spent soul
How about the mind
Mindful...mindless...out of my mind
You can't micro manage this
This is a one lump package
It has to be taken on as a whole...a hole

Forgot one more element
To make this complete
The spirit
The one thing to be held out until the last
For once that is gone
The whole bridge collapses...the hole
Without that bridge
For the relationship gap
It makes it very hard to tread water
The currents are fast
Unforgiving
As you are ebbed under
Slamming your head upon the rocky bottom


P.Q. 082811
#94

 

09/17/11 1:48 PM

I can relate with your last piece. Nice set of words and thoughts

 

09/17/11 6:26 PM

Gato_Preto posted:
I can relate with your last piece. Nice set of words and thoughts

Funny how you write a thought or two down,thinking you will build on it later...misplacing your work,your thought...finding it and find your thought was complete...


Thank you for your comments,input is very much appreciated.

 

10/25/11 1:14 AM

ghostshot posted:
Sitting with some old,long time friends
Talking of the absence
Of even older,long time ago friends
An understanding comes to mind
The life long trudge
Of an uphill battle
The never ending clash
To maintaining,'The Relationship'

All this time spent
Training for the final assault
Training...and training...training some more
Until it becomes rote

Have been
Wandering so far out there
For such length of time
Can't find which way back
From looking
...looking back...

Is it in the gut
The gut feeling...gut wrenching...gut tied in knots
Is it in the heart
The soothed heart...mending heart...broken heart
Maybe the soul
Bought soul...traded soul...spent soul
How about the mind
Mindful...mindless...out of my mind
You can't micro manage this
This is a one lump package
It has to be taken on as a whole...a hole

Forgot one more element
To make this complete
The spirit
The one thing to be held out until the last
For once that is gone
The whole bridge collapses...the hole
Without that bridge
For the relationship gap
It makes it very hard to tread water
The currents are fast
Unforgiving
As you are ebbed under
Slamming your head upon the rocky bottom


P.Q. 082811
#94

Such hope and despair in this. I suppose, in the end, it really is all about choice of spirit and what one does with it. I hope you are doing well, but the one above is...perfect!

 

10/26/11 10:20 AM

ghostshot posted:
Of what should be remembered
What should be forgotten
There is a time and place for some
Some...replace time and space

P.Q.

Love this, well done !



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/26/2011 10:22AM by sithlordjp.

 

11/06/11 1:36 AM

N_,sithlordjp...I apologize for not responding to your comments sooner...I've been...out.

Thank you,it's a pleasure to hear from others and to know that someone is reading ones feeble attempts...to reclaim the soul.

 

11/06/11 2:00 AM

As the cold winter daylight starts to break
The clearest I've ever seen night stars begin fading
I wish for the night to continue on
My memories of other times won't let go
Will not let go of me
I hold on so tight
The air to my soul is cut off

As daylight begins
I wish for it to hurry up
Need the light to survive
To help push out some memories

I survey my damage...huh...my damage

The roads I travel
To the farthest ends of myself
Looking under rocks for what's left,of myself
The inner roads that I can't see
Because of the blinding storm

There's no soul to guide
No spirit for a hint
Staggering in the dark with the noon sun
Burning a day under the full moon

I survey my damage...all my damage
AS I...impale myself,with my wreckage
From the calling
Of so many ghosts

Smell the cold
Stiff...stifling grip
I don't want it
It's ever penetrating presence
Have to live with it
Won't let me be without

Cold snap memories
When looking forward
To the seasons change
As the world changes color
As I change colder

I survey my damage
Why lie about it
Just want to escape
Not be held responsible
No considerations
Not even to myself

Do we have to walk around with identifying marks
Can we not show ourselves
Without shoving it in others faces
Define oneself
With the sun
As it rises...I can't wait
It's to cold,too soon
As warmth slips from me
More each day

I survey my damage
What is it that I'm suppose to share


P.Q. 110311
#95

 

11/11/11 1:00 PM

It was just a fluke
The move to sink the teeth in
Elusive,it became

Fond memories appear
Happier times,child at play
Invincible,never to grow up

As times bricks came bearing to heel
Sight becomes blaring to everything
Damn,the cat walked in and distracted me

-----------------------------------------

It gets the shit
And cleans the brush
It's a bargain

-------------------------------------------

You know how I know everything out of your mouth is a joke
It all sounds like expelling gas to me
I should be writing this shit down

Have to write it down
Because of the hole behind my tongue
The hole that leads to my soul

------------------------------------------------------

The munchies are the allergic reaction
You have to get a handle on it
Or else it makes you sick

You haven't even made coffee
Aren't you the housewife in this relationship?
"Wrong house!"

--------------------------------------------------

Have you ever seen me more serious in your life
Your not sure if that was serious
I was dropping tears and snot all over your kitchen floor


P.Q. 111011
#96

 

11/14/11 7:16 AM

Nice to read your stuff Ghostshot smiling smiley

 

11/14/11 12:02 PM

wow... intense stuff ghostshot ! Raw emotions, I like the honesty that transpires from your poetry. smiling smiley

 

11/14/11 12:39 PM

You folks are to kind,thank you.

 

11/30/11 6:52 AM

"I'll never forgive him for what he's done"
"But for my friends sake..."
Would you ever break bread with him?
"Like I said,if not for my friends sake"

As the tale continues
Of to many instance
From to many brewed stupor
The shiny offerings to forgive the unstable mental abuse
The hook is hidden in the shiny

The tension in this conversation
Table vice broken free,falls to the floor
Landing on a .22 caliber revolver
'Looks like your .22 has a new cartouche'
Ah,I've lost her
Started playing with her phone
She looked up how to spell cartouche

They won't kill a bed bug?
"Not even a mosquito"
WOULDN'T KILL A BED BUG!?!
"They are that kind of people"

As we whisk our way to other conversation
"What's with that hair of Dad's?"
I don't want to know,I don't even ask
Somethings are better not knowing
Somethings are better not said
"Look,it's crawling under the table!"
Give a terrified look
Long enough,maybe to long
Look back to her...'Thanks'

"Last time I saw him,he was working with Brant"
Is Brant working with him now?
"No"
We talking about Lime-Away Brant?
"Yes"
You know the Lime-Away story?
Looks at me like OMG
Maybe more like OMFG
Then nods with a perfect,'unbelievable'

Whispers..."The infamous Lime-Away story"...

She starts to tell a story of some stupidity she knows
Of a school mate who dyed his hair blue
"Then he had a brain storm to dye his other"
To dye his other?
"Ya,you know,dye his other"
I ask again,saying,'Can't you put a different name to it?'
"And he was a cheerleader"
I can't breathe anymore
I'm telling her,she is moving to fast...I can't write fast enough to keep up
I'm losing my tiny little mind at the vision of this
"And it got infected and he had to see the school nurse"
I'm skinned,she's won,I tell her she can take my scalp
"Saw the school nurse...TWICE"
I look at her,'God you are a terrible influence'


By V. & P.Q. 112911
V. #2
P.Q. #97



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/30/2011 06:54AM by ghostshot.

 

11/30/11 7:08 AM

I need to be sedated
Let this poison flow out of my body
Need to release this shaking tension within my ribs
Well minus one rib...anyways
All this bottled up inside,trying to get out
Even through the pores in my skin
It's to quite,my thoughts start to take over

I can't control it
I can't contain
I can't smoke it away
Coffee's not working,either

How long does this burrow in
Before it starts to burrow out
Some thirty year old piece of shrapnel
Finally coming to the surface
So long forgotten,can't remember where it's from
But,in the middle of the night
At the time that it's almost it's coldest
That long stretch before the dawn
You wake up with a large cry in your head
In that moment or two
Before you remember where you are
You remember
...and cry,inside,all over...again


P.Q. 113011
#98

 

11/30/11 7:20 AM

I'm sorry my amulet is a single edged blade
As you release your semi-automatic
It's pointed at me
As you butter finger your way
With your new found toy
You end up pointing something else at me
I look at you,'Don't point that at me'
For the third time

The toys,the tools
What it takes to build and feather a nest
What is needed to sustain life
There's a couple of things that come to mind

'I'd rather have water to drink,instead of washing a car'

...and

'I'm buying brass,instead of gold'

...there is one other,as a means to an end
...but the premise is far to dark
...not many I've told have found it funny
It goes farther back there,then anyone admits to dare
And you are not going to hear it here
It is far to dark...two simple lines
Lines to force you,in your eye
To look deep into the mirror
Of the mortal soul

If interested,please inquire
I'll reply,any place,any time


P.Q. 113011
#99

 
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