Suge posted:

^That is an incredible poem. So much to think about and so much feeling. Nicely done.

THANKS SUGE HADN'T WRITTEN IN A COUPLE MONTHS!! THIS IS THE PLACE WHERE MY POEMS ARE BIRTHED RIGHT HERE ON THE SITE YA KNOW.... I WOULDN'T PROBABLY HAVE CONTINUED ON LIKE I HAVE IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU GUYS WHO PUSH ME ALONG SOMETIMES. THX IT MEANS A LOT ! AND I'M FREE TO HONEST CRITICISM AS WELL FROM ANYONE WHO THINKS THAT IT COULD BE TWEAKED BETTER I MIGHT GO IN AND CHANGE THE WEAK PARTS.... ON ANY. PEACE.

I'm coming in quietly this year
I'm gonna rock my birthday silent
another year around 365
now i'm 38

at 38 i'm gonnna be
more confident
more self assured
more my self than ever before

38 is when i settle the score

a new start
a fresh start
took my last shower/bath at 37

and going to bed
to wake up to 38

the miles i've worn on my soul
the journey i've traveled
did i say i'm coming in quiet this year

no hooting no hollering
let others who want to hoot and holler
i'm gonna take it in easy
and not miss my blessings this 38th year

i want a bigger home
but i'll settle for a new used fridge
that works and we can actually put ice cream
in the freezer

i'll take a saturnmobile car
with a kill switch to start
never a worry about me losing my keys

i'll take my comfort and freedom

while i still have it
and it's still available
in this land of the USA

looking for love nope
maybe some one night stands
with a condom of course

what i can't get at home i'll
get elsewhere in this 38th year

who am i kidding i'll stay faithful
to the faithless in all it's martyr glory

maybe maybe not

we'll just have to wait
and
see

here i come world quietly...

As I scrape my mind for memories of you

the earring you gave me
a gold hoop that I threw at you
and we broke up without a word

the night you sat in my car and
wrote felt on my fogged up window
on a rainy nite

the boots, snakeskin were they ?
gray and white
your long trenchcoat jacket
and super long blond hair

i saw you with other girls
the one that made me throw
your earring at you
when katrina and I dimmed my lites
and drove by a party seeing you
making out outside

a girl you were all over roy's
couch with at his high school graduation
and i pretended it didn't hurt or bother me

memories of your house
and going in your bedroom
to make out but never having much time
because your mom would come home

your mom offered me a sandwich one day
and flipped out for me being there the next

the phonecalls i made oh way too many
pranking was a sport of mine back then

got a ticket coming down your street for
running a stop sign

scraped my memory banks how bout u ?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/14/2011 10:36PM by erikamae77.

Qe76 message me your address I have a copy of my book for you ! I promised. xoxo erika

I am
emotionally
mentally
physically
over you

I am not
able to hold on
much longer just because of
stupid reasons

I don't care anymore who your with
I don't care anymore that your not here
I Don't care

you threw me to the ground
you yelled in my ear
you threw groceries out of the fridge like
frisbees at my head

your abusive
but not when your out

your that likable guy
nothin but the best
for your friends

but the animal you are
at home when you take off your
disguise

sucks
sucks ass

so hold on I must
as i go without things
and get ready for the
final move out.

plop plop
fizz fizz
like alkaseltzer
it started out strong
but the fizz, the water
fizzled out

now i'm left with a
nasty glass of water
that would do me good
if i drank it

but i don't want to
i just want to stare into the
glass,
drop another alka in there

and rekindle what the last
month or two did to my heart



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/20/2011 07:08PM by erikamae77.

I like your style, very spontaneous. Good work !

What do I have left to move ?
MY writing trunk
my coffee table
my deck n chairs
clothes

jimmy's things

almost there

can't stand his father anymore
he has been a destroyer
and nearly destroyed my heart

just our last fight
he threw things of mine away
and put another hole in the house
the bedroom door

this time

no wonder i was swinging for the fences
at his face the other night

yeah the pinnacle whipped vodka
made me want to whip his ass

truth serum only 17 a bottle

he's been holding his money so
tight for years that i'm surprised
he has any circulation in his hands left

asshole, mother fucker, bastard , dickhead

can i let it go ?? fuck yeah

and i'm gonna be out, enjoying life

and try to retract these frown lines
starting to form on my face

he is a ruiner, a robber , a stealer

of happiness, dreams, and joy of sex

none of that did he give me.

Time to move on.

If you had to name the genre of our book
our life together it would be a horror romance.

Today i'm gonna do every single dish in the kitchen
till i run out of dish soap
same story with the laundry

I'm gonna dance , sing, and listen to music as loud
as I want

One thing he never let me do.
Fucking musician but i can't enjoy my music.
moron.

and i'll be here when Jimmy gets home.

Today's AFFirmations

I'm the shit.
I feel beautiful without a mirror.
I won't be broke for long , hold on.

have you heard the saying

what you said and your actions say two different things

yep welcome to the wonderful mystery of a man
i never knew
hardly know
getting to know

falling for
he doesn't know to what extent
but i'll harness it like a horse
buck wild

calm down
ride steady
and when your ready to go
from a walk
to a gallop
to a canter
to a full run

let me know i'll be ready.

IT's ELEMENTARY WHY I WON'T MISS YOU #1

(work in progress)
A- Affectionless
B~ Band five nights a week
C~ Can't take me out on a "date" except valentine's day.
D~ Dull, boring nights always spent at home
E~ Everyday i pick up after you like your a child
F~ Farts and think that shit is funny!!
G~ Garbage, never took the garbage out.
H~ holes in the walls
I~

K~ Kristie (you can have her all day everyday now)
M~ messy
N~ never says sorry, thank you, or please. (unless i ask you to first or after)

S` Sexless

V~ violence


Z~ zapping my energy like now in this poem.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/03/2012 07:58PM by erikamae77.

Wow... Sounds a lot like my ex husband.. I feel ya.. Get it out - writing helps the soul.. Definitely enjoyed reading from you

I saw the empty spot
I saw the round blocks
on where our home stood
and still in my mind stands

I see the little tree
and lost my beloved cat
that i will never get back

I saw the love we once had
never really entered the door
just two people for ten years

who tried to be a family
missing the crucial part
a love between a man and a woman

we had love for our son
and we gave him everything we could

together for ten years
a yard
friends to play with
outside
a little burnt down community

and it's gone
and he's here on the couch
sleeping

knowing this "divorce"
has jarred him a little
but children are tough

going between two homes
i know my tone has changed
with him
i'm not angry anymore
i'm not living in a disheveled dream
that has no basis or foundation in
happiness or reality

i should of let you go a long time ago
as you never would of let go of me
it's healthier for you
to be on your own
to not have me giving you my bitch love