Rules of friendship
 
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11/30/10 3:30 PM

Really? Well, fuck!

 

11/30/10 4:08 PM

damn it- Sounded like it was gonna be an interesting poem / thread lol hope thers more to come.!

 

11/30/10 5:07 PM

(Note; this's not a reply to any recent postings or anything. Just general feelings & observations on friendship.)

What was once a beautiful safe place of understanding, mutual affection now mind-field of don't think this don't feel that. I've never had a problem w/limitations on the physical as was happy w/that aspect of things anyhow. Sitting together & such just a nice & warm feel of this is right an image of 'home' become reality in the world.

All these pre-emptive strikes of 'platonic' were un-necessary mate. We'd already sorted bounds & bounderys.

Just leaves me wondering
how something so good
could leave either
of us
wanting to say
no more

 

11/30/10 10:09 PM

Bub; just in case you end up seeing this...I'm just having a bit of a rave, like we talked about on saturday, no need to worry, I know yr circumstance quite complicated in regard to relationships in general & yr no doubt just dealing w/that in solitude as is your way of late. I'd usually just talk...latest arrangement precludes contact-that's just the way in time, moment by moment

Even if all said &
all done in
past
now
gone
I've positive feelings (with distance) for you-
gratitude
for our friendship close in words of truth
I'm hoping your
dreams will soon
be
your ongoing
reality.

 

11/30/10 10:15 PM

that was sweet smiling smiley Is this a thread we can all comment in ?

 

11/30/10 10:42 PM

^ sure it's quite alright smiling smiley thanks Mattieu, appreciate your friendship.

 

11/30/10 11:50 PM

Thanks. Yep, all welcome :-)

 

12/01/10 4:27 PM

Talking relaxed laying
-floor's as good a space as any- comfortable with each other (such a rare construct for me) was
interesting to see
you back
in the way
we have been being
openly yourself then
realiseing- whether conscious or a new auto-tuning- & stepping back
your shutters
close creating
sudden distance cold...
& I'm thinking
well, ok then.

 

12/03/10 6:33 PM

Really good connection vibes these past 5 days. Beautiful warmth centreonoutward energycolours zipp spinal electric uponward & go.
I just appreciate for itself...(have been known to read into this stuff)....tis enough to be feeling so good. I loop it on back to an extent .cos who would.nt enjoy such a buzz. :-)

 

12/03/10 6:50 PM

I long to see talk just be,
with my friend
busy
on her own
happy trips
though cool
with distance
latest
is difficult
for me she means
alot
maybe too
much
& that is quite possibly the whole
issue
-wouldn't go so far
as call
a problem
.cos I don't
believe it to
be one- that's the way
I see though I know
problems with others
can colour perception
of most
anyone
So; agree to giving of space though really only way
for more space would be
dropping from the world
of men once again
and obviously I haven't
have I

 

12/04/10 5:25 AM

Crows on the highway
watching
waiting
in silence
don't get lonely
now
there's time
enough
and all's clear
ahead

 

12/05/10 11:28 PM

(for the ex :-)
The kids're kids no longer
in fact older
now
than we
once were- So,
fucking forget
it works no more
& never
again
old guilt
keep it...it's yours
anyhow get a fucking hobby or anything
that'll keep you
swimming
away
& out..out..keep on
going
til waters cold deep
in unforgiving
say be
still

 

12/06/10 1:26 AM

(Some old stuff- 6months or so ago)

New Moon;

A time to shape yr
dreamshopes to
human form
decisive strokes
gentle breaths
of life
from the ash
of bygone
days

***
Direction;

Slowly now...tread
light
each step a monument
time slows...easy
now
take
a breath
in
out
now..
...careful
...move

all time in which to navigate
each footprint lighting
the path and
remaining
in testament
worlds are mapped
in just
this
way

 

12/06/10 11:36 PM

' Sh^eol '
*****


~thanks for honesty appreciate truth as you know~



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 12/07/2010 11:41PM by Mattieu.

 

12/07/10 4:42 PM

Distance & space
distance in space-
time zones're difficult(good friend once told me: zones're proof that time doesn't actually exist)
& who's talkative at 6am anyhow..so, putting effort in & why not, whos to say
all & everything
I am
feeling
it's a good clear morning
this day

 

12/07/10 4:46 PM

Agree there's something gained posting thoughts on this site.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/07/2010 11:33PM by Mattieu.

 

12/07/10 6:48 PM

Your either mis-overstanding where I'm coming from
or the ref. to 'guys not getting it' means your distancing all your male friends- either way no doubt best I just forget how good our friendship was.
I will say this though; being friends has got nothing to do with gender.
&, after so long, this year's really positive experience of talks, companionship, mutual feelings 'n' overstandings I'm willing to forgive alot, figureing your mayhaps un-aware of how much pain recent actionreactions're causing.
I also live alone quite comfortably, friends do not damage this state of being.
Anyhow, I remain, as always.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 12/08/2010 02:04AM by Mattieu.

 

12/08/10 3:59 PM

Mattieu posted:
Agree there's something gained posting thoughts on this site.

This site has a comfortable feel about it,as home.Enjoy reading your works,keep posting.

 

12/08/10 5:34 PM

Thank you :-). Always good to get positive feedback. Some of the posts were written to an old friend of mine(one who told me about this site), others just random wanderings of thought, but all're on here for anyone to read- happy you enjoy.

 

12/09/10 1:02 AM

Mattieu posted:
(for the ex :-)
The kids're kids no longer
in fact older
now
than we
once were- So,
fucking forget
it works no more
& never
again
old guilt
keep it...it's yours
anyhow get a fucking hobby or anything
that'll keep you
swimming
away
& out..out..keep on
going
til waters cold deep
in unforgiving
say be
still


Wow, I could have written this...wish I did. It is how I feel about right now, but my girls are still young and I'm feeling a bit nostalgic about them getting older....having issues with the ex...I kind of wish he'd wake up and understand they need him. Though, another part of me wants to say, "Keep on swimming" "Til the water's cold and deep" and ... well, anyway. Take care and TY for sharing with us.

 

12/09/10 8:43 PM

Thanks for yr comment. Much appreciated. Kids're in their 20s now. Really wish I could've had more to do with them when they were growing up but wasn't my choice. Anyhow, thanks.

 

12/09/10 9:56 PM

(For Lil'bub)

Enough now I've made myself
clear
enough I think
you can see
meanings messages signs in communication
as I can see
yours
viewing as we
walked together
for a time
our paths converged
& became more
than two singular
events magnified
intense cool fire
through rivers
mountains & on
moonbright evenings
across clear open fields
our steps
left a single
track
for a time

 

12/11/10 3:25 PM

People think
perhaps
it's a bit of a joke
telling them but just
truth
& visiting friend
recently
not seen for many years
having some problemstress&insomnia perhaps
happier for knowing
he's really not
doing so bad
if only
by comparison
it's quite possible
to work on
through
happy enough just
to be here
& able
still

 

12/15/10 11:03 PM

*THOUGHT*

I am
not here
(or there) for
games
of blaming
my feet're bare walking
thru flames to cooling
stone
pure
as I want
others to be
ask of me anything
see
what happens
with these words
just falling
from mind tripping
thru this world
just one
of so many
I have seen
truth
in so few
pure as I wish
you to be
sure as I am
there must be
some one

 

12/16/10 6:37 PM

I like this writing as it touches the problem of blame *

 

12/16/10 11:18 PM

Thanks.
It's very easy to blame, when things go south, though always in mind; there's many sides & others're often seeing things very differently.

 

12/17/10 9:31 PM

Didn't intend to write anything other than first few posts here but enjoying having somewhere to write, it's rather awesome to be putting these straight out into the world, get feedback, read posts of others etc.
I very rarely re-write or edit, just put my thoughts straight down & leave as is, so a rather messy naive style.
(Just in case) All writings property of the author: Mattieu Postma(aka MacRoth). I never used to worry about that kind of thing, copyrights, but there's still melodys I wrote/co-wrote being sold, downloaded etc w/out acknowledgement. Rather annoying. Oh well.
Thanks heaps everyone who's taken time to read :-)

 

12/24/10 6:32 PM

Knowing why yet not
what to do nothing
well, that just feels
wrongly negative
anon-solution
needing answers wanting
everything
yet demanding of none.

If this riddle
contains answers
I will insearching;
find
time
in our time
& say
here
for all
clearwonder crystaljoy, the meresight
will be
celebration enough
So, with hope
I search
on

 

12/26/10 11:11 PM

From here
where?
and if not
this
then what?
The only choice,
the only direction
forward
progression-
this much
I know
it's time
now
go

 

12/28/10 7:35 PM

Finaly feeling a bit better; positive again. Certain decisions needed to be made.
Fates can be changed & roads re-directed
detours're often the best way;
for all the twisting n turning, jumping through hoops n returning
all this time for learning
impact-digesting memory expanding
the future now
& all so much clearer than the 'would've-could've-should've' of the road straight thru
narrowing
fast,
heading east
thru shimmering heat waves
the distortions illusion;
the way
is
clear

 
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