Relationships are hard…. Freakishly hard. Look at me, I have the wonderful distinction of having both an ex-wife AND an ex-fiancé. So if you need advice on how make your relationship better, don’t come knocking on my door to ask. Now on the flip side- if you are in a committed relationship and are looking to sabotage it? I’m your guy. I can give you a whole shit load of advice on how to fuck it up. Women have NO PROBLEM running away from me. Happens all the time!

By the way ladies, if you go out on a date, don’t drop the “N” word..... This is no shit, I was out on a date with a girl a while back and she dropped the “N” word not once, but TWICE. Look, I understand that I am a white Caucasian with heavy German heritage, but that doesn’t make me a Nazi racist..... Okay!? One of the few times where I was the one running away after a date had ended.... Once I got home I took a bath in hydrofluoric acid just so I could feel “cleansed”.

Since I am a bitter turd, I like to mess with people who announce that they are expecting. I get so annoyed when everyone and their sister start screaming and yelling “CONGRATULATIONS!”.....
Of course I am the one in the corner laughing my ass off (albeit it, annoyed as fuck with everyone ‘overjoyed’ with the news), until people notice me giggling and ask me- “What’s so funny?” My usual response- “Hehe, yeah…. Congratulations on POLUTING THE EARTH WITH YOUR NEW BORN!” Of course I either get blank stares or nervous laughs. “Oh come on Nate, childbirth is a beautiful thing!”
Ummm, no it’s not. There are 7 billion fucking people on this planet. And about 70 percent of those 7 billion fucking suck donkey balls. WE DON’T NEED ANYMORE PEOPLE!!!
Sorry! But enough is enough! There will come a point and time where Mother nature will trim our population number, and to be honest- It will be a good thing.

It’s any wonder why my friends keep their kids away from me........

Anyone watch UFC? Or a better question, anyone watch the people who “WATCH” UFC? There isn’t a more fucked up crowd than those who watch UFC. Seriously, it’s like watching a group of un-evolved gorillas that just escaped an insane asylum and are currently high on meth. Ever notice that? I mean, next time there is a big match, go to the local bar that will be showing the fight, and then sit back and watch the loony tunes come out in droves. If you want cheap entertainment, there you go.
I’m sorry, but I don’t find UFC entertaining at all. But watching the people who watch that shit is fucking hilarious.

Although be careful when you are watching UFC fights with said drunken gorillas on meth. One time my buddy and I wandered down to the local bar after a Wolves game. Little did we know that after the Wolves game, the bar would be televising a UFC fight. At first, I didn’t know why the bar crowd looked so freaking angry. I mean, you could just “feel” the roid rage in the air. Then you listen on the conversations, and all you would hear was “Ung. Ugh. Grunt. Unnnnnnngh.” Of course I thought to myself – “Holy shit, I just wandered into another dimension!” And this is no shit- as we were watching the “fight”, my buddy and I couldn’t help ourselves by poking fun at what was going on the TV. Really, watching two over-grown sweaty men wrestle around in a cage was just dumb ass funny to us. So as we were making wise cracks about our observations, some dude that was plastered in the bar looks down at me and asks “Do you fight?” I am thinking to myself 'What a dumb fucking question.' I reply- “I’m sorry?”
Drunk douchebag- “Do you fight?"........???????????
“No, I have no reason to fight.”
Drunk douchebag- “Well then you don’t understand.”
What the fuck is there to understand?! That I can see your brains coming out of your nose in liquid form due to your obvious issues with meth and booze!?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/27/2012 07:25PM by Vendetta11.

Rogue1 posted:

On a lighter note.. You've got women chasing you all about this forum. Things can't be all that bad.

Yeah, that's because they haven't met me in person..... LOL

Random musing of the day-


I take pretty damn good care of myself and my body.... I work out, go for long walks, live off on Circus Peanuts, warm brandy and free internet porn.

I never understood why we incarcerate drug addicts.... By that same logic, we should be incarcerating alcoholics..... Especially women whom drink while pregnant. It's one thing to be littering the world with more mewling cabbages, it's a whole another ballgame when you litter the world with mewling cabbages that are born with FAS.

Oh I know that booze is legal and "drugs" are not. But isn't it the same sickness? Stop throwing crack addicts in jail and instead do the same thing that we do with those violent booze hounds, and treat them so they become better human beings.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/05/2012 01:07PM by Vendetta11.

angelhalo posted:

By that same logic, shouldn't cigarette smokers, overeaters, and basically anyone who has any kind of addiction be incarcerated? While we're at it, we should incarcerate anyone who drives a car, or anyone who farts, because of all the pollution they are spewing out into the air that we all breathe.

I like the way you think....

Pretty much.

thecollectiveunconscious posted:

I don't know... I know people r fucked up but I love a lot of them. I'm not sure where this idea that nature is better than us comes from, or that you can even seperate us from nature. We're an ugly kind of animal but if it really is us against nature I'd side with us -- 'bout fucking time we found a way to live in space anyways.
seriously though, should we really care more about the forests and the atmosphere than our families? what does it mean to be human anyways?
I love our fucked up species.
I want everyone to be proud of themselves.
Lets all care for eachother and conquer this inhospitable universe!

Well, I believe nature will always usurp human beings. Just look at what we do to mother earth and nature-










WE need to be cleansed......................

So I went to the dentist this morning.... And I have to admit that it was fun to have two cute blondes with their fingers in my mouth for an hour.......

Rogue1 posted:

^^ hahahahahaha

You need to get out more.
And since when do you like blondes?

It's pretty sad that the most physical interaction that I have had with women as of late.... has been at the dental office.

So over the weekend, I was out for a friend's birthday party. Among the guests that were in attendance, was this very nice married couple who also happened to be very religious. Of course some jabs and barbs were thrown out at me since I am a blasphemer/heretic/non-believer (all in good fun by the way...). So the wife of said religious married couple told me in a very nice way that she will "pray for me".

I told her - "While I appreciate the thought, it is not my soul that needs saving. If you are going to pray for someone, please pray for the souls of the Christians who suck ass at being "Christian". It's those people that need to be saved."

Nervous laughter ensued.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/19/2012 10:35AM by Vendetta11.

^^
I wouldn't say a "prayer" per se, but I would speak and let everyone know that there is a better world out there that is waiting for us to change it-


There are words that can move mountains, but those words are rarely spoken... words that desperately need to be said by everyone instead a few. Words such as kindness, empathy, respect, love, inclusiveness need to overtake the hate, greed, exclusiveness, barriers that has gripped our society so tightly that we have lost our way. We need to better. We can do better. Hope can overcome despair.

Make a stand for not just yourself, or even your loved ones.... make a stand for every total stranger out in this world and let us bring peace upon us all instead of hate.

It can be done...... No matter how dark and bleak things look outside your window.... There is hope for us.

Some people cannot be redeemed, no amount of help, compassion, or insight will ever break through the barrier of their ego. They just think of themselves and think of themselves as perfect. Then there are the people who have to have something to hold onto, they give all of theirself to a faith and see nothing else. I'm not knocking 'faith' have all that you want...just don't push it off on me.