[Capital O]
Eventually this will have to break
And when it does, you'll know
You'll screw us all over for your own sake
And your arrogance will show

Tear a piece off from the back
And cover up your eyes
Soul is something that you lack
Soul is something you despise

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/31/2009 08:20PM by SunshineGirl.

[Someone's Dollface]
Somewhere,
he is thinking of her
Right here,
she is waiting for him
Out there,
she keeps him alive
In here,
he is all she knows
One day,
he will breathe her in
Today,
she sits and waits

[Damn, I Need a Boyfriend]
Warm nights are warm
Cold nights are colder
All I really need and want
Is a strong shoulder

i like your writing. it is great - much feeling!

[Once More]
Time is a lie
The days run together
Everything fades from my memory
Except for you

My senses fail me
All the colours blur
Everything slowly hides from me
Except for you

My mind betrays me
Soon this will fall again
Everything starts to drift away
Except for you

[Contentment]
Whatever happens,
no matter what,
I cannot allow myself
to sink into the oblivion
of contentment

Because to be content
is to deny
that one is burning
with desire,
with passion,
love,
hope,
life

Because to be content
is to fail-
to fall-
to lose oneself

Because to be content
is to lie

^Thank you. =]

[Desperation]
Not want
Need
I need
Need you to see me
hear me, feel me
fear me, heal me
No
Not want
Need

lamp.........

I woke up this morning and felt something was missing. I turned to my side, the other half still cold. Slowly, I get out of bed, turn on the small lamp, and stare at its dim glow. This small lamp, with enough energy flowing through it to kill a person, is barely lighting up the room.

"Is it the size of the room?" I wondered,"that makes this lamp appear so dim?" Or "Is the lamp facing the wrong way, shining its radiance on an empty corner?" My eyes are fixed now,more and more, harder and harder, till there is no lamp anymore. Just me,seeing me. A reflection of myself stronger than the most polished mirror. "Why do I feel this way?" I ask myself. A lamp is just a lamp, and I am just me. Am I connected to this lamp in some way? I tell myself that a lamp has no feeling, but I've had no feelings. It has no heart.But I've had no heart. A lamp doesn't show emotion. I don't show emotion. Staring......

I remember buying the lamp.... I didn't even hesitate. I was just buying any household appliance, as easy as I would buy a gallon of milk. I remember first plugging in the lamp...it was years ago. I recall that the light was brighter at first. I know the power company didn't decide just to lower the power on my lamp for the hell of it. Its dim still...... Staring into this "mirror", I started to feel the connection. My light was dimming too. As in this once great illuminating energy flowed through me and shined everything and everyone around me. But now its dim......

I looked at the bulb. The bulb was old now as well.... I never bothered to change the bulb. Why, when the lamp always shined so bright? This old bulb was dimming.... faster and faster.
See, I started to realize that I neglected this lamp and the light it provided for my loved one and I. I faced its light away from the room so now it just brought shaded darkness like how a fireplace flickers shadows about a home. I failed to clean the dust off of it to maintain its shine. I failed to keep this lamp a new and keep it ready to provide its best glow for the room. This lamp had been neglected......

Had it been to late? Had it gone too long without care? I mean, would changing its bulb or replacing its cord or cleaning it ever make it shine bright again?

Was I the same? Did I neglect myself and my loved one too much and far too long that I couldn't shine again? My loved one , in the beginning of my adulthood, saw my light, but I let it dim. I failed to improve and enhance myself spiritually, consciencly, socially, and physically. Was it too late? People were attracted to me because of my light but now they are pushed away from me because of my darkness. I thought my darkness kept me away from bad influences. In my mind, my refusal to conform to universal ideals such as marriage, children, careers would keep me original,true, and bright. But, it just kept me apart from my loved one.

I failed to realize eventhough my light came from within, most of it truly came from the people I shined on. The people I cared for most gave me a reason to shine, what I gave to them, they gave back to me. What other reason would a lamp be a lamp? If there is no one to shine on and nothing to illuminate, then why exist at all? Why have lamps? Why should I exist? People use light to find ther way, to get to a destination, to guide them safely. If all I provided was darkness then what good was I to my loved one? When a lamp becomes of no use, it is tossed, forgotten about, and replaced. If thats so, if I can't shine on my loved one, then I will probably be replaced by someone who can. Someone... who has no fear of letting his light shine bright.

Staring.......still.... I hope that I can shine bright again, for myself, for my loved one. I hope that its not too late for me, not too late for my light to shine bright...... again.. still....staring.....

Is it fair to compare myself to this old lamp in the corner? Probably not. But as I look across to the other side of the bed...... its pillow... cold... dark... and once spoken for...... I recall... when the lamp shined bright...... I recall... when my light shined brighter...... I remember... when she rested on that pillow... I remember.... when my light shined across her face.........


for Jennifer



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 09/24/2009 06:27PM by efloresNiN.

I'd just like to say you've written a very beautiful piece. Though young you've done very well. Might I suggest toying with different layouts for your writing? Try putting emphasis on certain words or giving your words motion. It's the only thing I could even think could make this better. But, you've done very well. Good job.

meimknot posted:

SunshineGirl posted:

^Thank you. =]

[Desperation]
Not want
Need
I need
Need you to see me
hear me, feel me
fear me, heal me
No
Not want
Need

I would say you've been crawling through my mind, but indeed you would have had to crawl through body, mind and soul to portray my thoughts so accurately.

I don't even know what to say.. thanks. =]

lol, that was not written for you? I just thought your name was Jen.. odd to just put something in someone elses thread..

No, I'm Evaline, and I have no idea who that person is. -_-

[Mama]
Spare me
the hollow apologies
that rattle out of you.
What I wouldn't give
for sincerity.
And what I wouldn't give
to have the courage
to be a hindrance.
How I'd love
to hold you back.

Reverence posted:

Some of these are coo', but some just feel a bit rushed. Like you write them because you feel like writing. =/

Well, if I write anything, it's because I feel like writing. I know a lot of them are probably too short, but I don't like trying to make them longer just for the sake of length, because then it sounds forced. So, I don't know what to tell you.