Corrupt-A-Wish
 
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05/18/12 7:06 AM

KinkyAfro posted:
I wish I could stop the voices in my head when they tell me to be bad.

Granted, but the voices in your penis will successfully make you rape someone.





I wish I had a beautiful, Opeth fan/ninnie/metalhead girlfriend, preferably within London, she's not crazy, we have a lot in common (especially music), she doesn't completely drain out the very little money I have, but instead I progressively make more money, preferably my age or not much younger, AND SHE'S NOT ALREADY TAKEN!!!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/18/2012 07:08AM by patrick_nicholas.

 

05/18/12 1:21 PM

Granted, but she's six years old and you get arrested.

I wish I had more money.

 

05/18/12 1:29 PM

Granted, but you blow it all on drugs.





I wish that people would stop doing drugs.

 

05/19/12 1:48 AM

Granted but you have to do them all instead.

I wish I was more confident.

 

05/19/12 4:46 AM

Granted, but now your too confident.


I wish I had my favorite pizza right now, and it would be still warm and yummy.

 

05/19/12 5:19 AM

Granted, but you're constipated.





I wish I had an easier time getting out of bed.

 

05/20/12 7:57 PM

Granted, you fall off the bed while sleeping and crack your skull.



I wish I didn't have to think about people who are assholes.

 

05/20/12 10:05 PM

Granted, but you still have to deal with people who are assholes.

I wish I could predict the future.

 

05/21/12 2:55 AM

Granted, but you´d only see bad things happen...


I wish I wouldn´t have to go out today.

 

05/21/12 3:02 AM

Granted, but you're in the basement all day.




I wish I had better speakers for my computer.

 

05/21/12 11:22 AM

Granted .. but your computer can't handle them so it blows up.


I wish for .. a dream to come true. A good dream .. with no violence or mean people or scary monsters.

 

05/21/12 11:25 AM

Granted, but it's only a matter of time before you realize you're still dreaming.




I wish I could express myself without being accused of trolling and/or begging for sympathy.

 

05/28/12 9:14 PM

Granted, but just as you are about to unleash your many thoughts to the world, an enormous rock falls from the sky and crushes you.


I wish we could just get the new HTDA album already.

 

05/29/12 4:43 AM

Granted, but it's mostly remixes of stuff from the EP.





I wish we could just get the new NIN album already.

 

05/29/12 6:05 AM

Granted, but Trent has finally run out of ideas and his new NIN album is nothing but covers of old 60's, 70’s, and 80’s TV show theme songs (Sanford and Son, Gilligan's Island, The A-Team, and such)


I wish that I could just be lazy and play videogames all day today, and maybe tomorrow as well.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/29/2012 06:06AM by armchair_handjob.

 

05/29/12 6:28 AM

Granted! You get to spend the whole week playing these games!




I wish I could travel time and see NIN in the 90s.

 

05/29/12 6:44 AM

Granted .. but you are now 2 ft tall and can't see over anybody.


I wish .. for 5 more wishes.

 

05/29/12 6:54 AM

Granted, but they all get corrupted.




I wish there was a video rental place nearby.

 

05/29/12 2:56 PM

patrick_nicholas posted:
these games!

(I’ve played a few of those games and some weren’t that bad)


Granted but they have no ADULT video section.


I wish that I had some ADULT videos right about now.

 

05/29/12 3:50 PM

Granted, but most of the videos are closeups on jerking dicks.





I wish I was taking a shower right now instead of pointlessly wasting my time on the internets.

 

05/29/12 4:24 PM

Granted, but your at a public shower full of mustachioed buff naked men, and this shower is nothing but a giant open room with just a single showerhead dangling in the center of the room, and everyone including you is trying to use the one showerhead at the same time.


I wish that MTV went back to being cool, and playing actual music videos for most of the day like it used to.

 

05/29/12 4:48 PM

Granted, but it's mostly videos from "artists" like Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Justin Beaver, One Direction, All Time Low, Black Veil Brides, You Me At Six, Nickelback, Creed, Insane Clown Posse, Brokencyde, *insert any other crappy "band"/"artist" here*




I wish there was a video network specifically for GOOD bands/artists.

 

05/29/12 6:08 PM

Granted, but they go out of business after a year on air.

I wish I had some beer. EDIT: That hasn't been spit in. EDIT: That isn't warm. EDIT: That hasn't been shaken up prior to being given to me. EDIT: That isn't expired. EDIT: And I don't have to drink it out of anybody's ass. EDIT: And I don't get busted for underage drinking. EDIT: And I don't wake up next to an ugly girl or a man the next morning. EDIT: And I don't get an intervention or go to rehab the next morning, either.



Edited 8 time(s). Last edit at 05/29/2012 06:13PM by KMOS92.

 

05/29/12 9:22 PM

Granted, here you go,

http://i1070.photobucket.com/albums/u493/james_sunderland_80/barq-s-root-beer.jpg

Enjoy your root BEER


I wish that the next NIN album was all straight DISCO with unparalleled sweet funky beats and grooves, and it quickly becomes a world famous multi-platinum album, and it single-handedly ushers in a new global era of disco even bigger than the 70‘s, and Trent Reznor becomes known the world over as the Disco King.

 

05/30/12 7:07 AM

Granted, but why would you want that?

I wish I could come up with a wish that couldn't be corrupted in any way.

 

05/30/12 7:14 AM

Granted, but you can't make it happen.






I wish I could be out and about, doing something interesting.

 

05/30/12 10:33 AM

Granted you go out and meet the most interesting man in the world and have a few drinks with him. But over the course of listening to all his interesting stories, you become depressed because you realize even more so just how disinteresting and lame your life is.


I wish that I were as interesting as the most interesting man in the world.

 

05/30/12 10:43 AM

Granted. You don't always make wishes, but when you do, they get corrupted.




I wish the grocery store was closer, and everything was free. EDIT: And they always have what I want, and they don't go out of business.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/30/2012 10:44AM by patrick_nicholas.

 

05/30/12 11:02 AM

Granted, but the food is never fresh and usually expired or near expired.

I wish I could read minds. EDIT: And I have complete control of when I read minds.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/30/2012 11:02AM by KMOS92.

 

05/30/12 9:31 PM

Granted, but every time you use this ability you have the involuntary reflex of kicking yourself in the ass with the heel of your own foot whilst at the same time frogging yourself straight in the dick.


I wish that I had the ability to put curses and hexes on people of my choosing and they actually worked exactly the way I intended.

 
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