theforeigner
member
Joined: 03/12/12
Location: Germany
Posts: 1,128
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Serenety Angel.
concerning move away and so on.
as i was 19-20 years old, i was stuck in a unpleasant constellation.
i really wanted to move out (about a year already), and my mom found many reasons, why it wouldn't be okay. we had difficult time, i think the most difficult for us, it were hard verbal fights. i just wanted to be free.
then i was together with a man, which was quite difficult for me too, he was my first "real" boyfriend, so i didn't know, what's ok in a relationship, what's not. he was about 10 years older and i accepted many things, thinking, it must be like this in his age.
but still, it was too much for me.
he wanted us to break up after 3 months, then he "understood, how boring life without me would be" and wanted to be together again. for me, the separating was so hard, and i was so happy to be together again. but it repeated many, many times. he broke up, came back. broke up, came back. at one break up (now it was about 9 months we had known each other) i felt so miserable running the streets and every stone spoke to me: here you were unhappy last month and here you were unhappy the month before.
it was hamburg, rather big city, but i knew, if i'd stay there, he would finally drive me crazy.
the situation with my mom wasn't much help.
and i had to start studying.
that was my triple bonding where i wanted to get away from.
years after i had to listen to accusations of my mom, why i would moved away. i don't know what she thinks, still, because she left her home much earlier than me. but ...
i think berlin was a good opportunity to "start", and i've never regret it.
so, as i wrote to you, a job is not a reason to move further, i didn't want to discourage you at all. moving to a bigger city can give much more satisfaction than a job in life.
if you feel like moving away - do it, because moms won't be happy in either way : )
you have a totally different situation than me in those days, but still the feeling of discovering is so natural in that age!
sorry for this long text - i just wanted to explain, why i reacted earlier this way - and explain my motives of moving away. i thought, you'd have much better conditions and don't have the urge of leaving, but why.
be happy with your boyfriend : ) it all sounds so nice to me.
(and the best relationship i've had with my mother is since i live somewhere else.)
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