Now that the zombie apocalypse has started...

Now that the zombie apocalypse has started...

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06/06/12 12:26 PM
Suge member Turbo Cunt Joined: 11/26/07 Location: The Rezervation Posts: 41,190	What are you doing to prepare yourself and your loved ones against this plague? I have started barring the windows and I go nowhere without my hammer, just in case I need to crack a skull on my way to work. I've started hording cans of tuna and toilet paper and I'm in the process of bottling my own water. At some point, I will gain an axe and be able to split skulls, instead of denting them with a hammer. In the long, run, this will be more efficient. A hammer can get stuck in the skull of a zombie, and I'd spend to much time prying it loose. An axe with a nice long handle would prove more effective I think. I'm also in the process of putting together individual first aid kits for the people in my family. I'm keeping a nice collection of tylenol, motrin and other minor pain killers. Bandaids, antiseptic, and a small bottle of water will also go into these kits, among other things. As for my car, it shall do for now. When it gets worse, and a state of marshal law is declared, I'll be trading it in for a truck of some sort, or an SUV, whatever I can steal really. I might get a gun before all of that happens, makes car jacking much easier. Plus, it's an easier way to kill zombies but I don't want to rely on live ammunition. This is my plan for the moment. With people eating faces and other vital organs, it doesn't hurt to be prepared. Has everyone else been preparing for this? Don't listen to the government when they say that zombies have nothing to do with this. They are lying! They just don't want us to know the truth!
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06/06/12 1:43 PM
armchair_handjob member Joined: 01/21/12 Location: Neelys Bar Posts: 2,398	I planed ahead for this inevitable event. I’ve abandoned my house and loved ones (they are probably already zombie food or zombies themselves by now) and have taken up living alone survivalist style in the forest miles away from the zombie infested cities, currently drinking my own urine and sifting through my own poop for bits of undigested food that I can re-eat. Goodbye human civilization as we knew it, you will be missed.
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06/06/12 2:09 PM
Vendetta11 member Misanthrope Joined: 10/14/08 Location: Minneapolis Posts: 8,038	I am hoping to fly over to Seattle in order to take a shit in Kimmeh's boss' desk drawer...... Wait a second.... Wrong thread.
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06/06/12 2:27 PM
~Kimmeh~ member I'm a sexual, lets diddle Joined: 05/04/08 Location: The Mother Ship Posts: 13,519	You can still do that if you'd like. I've already planned out my safe house. I have a nice baseball bat close to my bed and I've already decided the animals are on their own. I'll have to drop the dead weight now before it comes back and bites me in the ass...literally.
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06/06/12 3:43 PM
Suge member Turbo Cunt Joined: 11/26/07 Location: The Rezervation Posts: 41,190	I can't leave my Ruby on her own. She is an asset in my survival of this apocalypse. She is a fighter, a fighter I tell you! I plan on eventually getting a horse, just in case the automobiles start to face. Either a horse or a bike, but probably a horse. I've always wanted one.
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06/06/12 3:58 PM
~Kimmeh~ member I'm a sexual, lets diddle Joined: 05/04/08 Location: The Mother Ship Posts: 13,519	Good idea, especially when petro runs dry.
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06/06/12 4:38 PM
Rubeninphoenix member BOOOM! Joined: 05/21/09 Location: PHX Posts: 21,282	Hey guys, wanna go do bath salts and meth?
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06/06/12 6:25 PM
BloodType89 member is transfusing Joined: 04/05/11 Location: In Limbo Posts: 4,703	I will comment on weaponry beacause well... that's the fun part. One of the finest tools available for slaying zombies... The AR-15 in .45 caliber, 10.5 inch barrel configuration. Trade in the standard .223 cal, 16 inch AR for this. The .45cal pistol round is much more suitable for zombie slaying.. an excellent cartridge for high powered, close to medium range, accurrate devastation. This will also convert your AR into a much more reliable blowback bolt function which will outlast the standard direct impingement action any day. I would reccomend that you affix a quality torch (flashlight) but, don't bother with fancy red dot sights.. This needs to be rugged and reliable. This is one of your primary tools. Let's face it, no matter how much you hoard, ammunition and moving parts can become problematic. You may need a medium range weapon which requires little maintainance. The traditional Japanese Naginata. Essentially a short sword affixed to a staff, this is a formidable weapon capable of keeping enemies at bay. I would reccomend that you source a Naginata that allows removal of the blade. Such versions allow the Naginata to break down into 2 wapons.. A staff and a short sword. This will come in very handy in confined spaces, as well as offering the ability to equip your slack ass friend in a pinch without losing a weapon yourself. These 2 weapons will be all that you need.. You have plenty of other important items to pack.
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06/06/12 8:19 PM
armchair_handjob member Joined: 01/21/12 Location: Neelys Bar Posts: 2,398	BloodType89 posted: One of the finest tools available for slaying zombies... Let's face it, no matter how much you hoard, ammunition and moving parts can become problematic. You may need a medium range weapon which requires little maintainance. Dang! Those are badass weapons. Yeah, I’m packing one of these.. And for hand to hand I got..
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06/06/12 10:15 PM
VersesMachine member Beware - I Live! Joined: 09/03/08 Location: Maine Posts: 2,297	I'll be having more buttsecks
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06/07/12 8:12 AM
~Kimmeh~ member I'm a sexual, lets diddle Joined: 05/04/08 Location: The Mother Ship Posts: 13,519
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06/07/12 8:27 AM
serenityangel member Joined: 06/08/09 Location: oberhausen Posts: 6,338	^ha! that anti-zombie house is awesome
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06/07/12 10:36 AM
Suge member Turbo Cunt Joined: 11/26/07 Location: The Rezervation Posts: 41,190	Kimmeh, I'm bringing my party over to your place lol
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06/07/12 10:01 AM
BloodType89 member is transfusing Joined: 04/05/11 Location: In Limbo Posts: 4,703	Now for my installment about vehicle selection. This will be my primary vehicle immediately after the outbreak. I'll be able to crawl over anything and the fact that it's a Hummer on chrome will most likely snag me a bitch yo. This way I don't have to live out my existance without some tang. I will keep this handy for times that petroleom supply is greatly diminished.
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06/07/12 11:05 AM
Suge member Turbo Cunt Joined: 11/26/07 Location: The Rezervation Posts: 41,190	That is the ugliest small car I've ever seen lol I doubt I could even fit in one.
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06/07/12 10:10 AM
BloodType89 member is transfusing Joined: 04/05/11 Location: In Limbo Posts: 4,703	But, but, but.. it's fuel efficient!!!
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06/07/12 10:17 AM
BloodType89 member is transfusing Joined: 04/05/11 Location: In Limbo Posts: 4,703	I have an apointment with my local tailor/blacksmith at 3:00. We are taking my measurements today so that he can get started on my new suit.. Once again, I am choosing to go flashy in the hopes of attracting a suitable mate.
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06/07/12 12:55 PM
Suge member Turbo Cunt Joined: 11/26/07 Location: The Rezervation Posts: 41,190	BloodType89 posted: But, but, but.. it's fuel efficient!!! I could never take you seriously if you rolled up in my hood in one of those. In fact, I would probably blow it up and use you as zombie bait if that happens.
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06/07/12 12:00 PM
~Kimmeh~ member I'm a sexual, lets diddle Joined: 05/04/08 Location: The Mother Ship Posts: 13,519	hahahahahahah ^^^
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06/07/12 1:23 PM
The_Prowler member Now I'm nothing... Joined: 05/02/08 Location: Fredericksburg Vagina Posts: 18,691	*Note to self: Don't buy a big wheeled smart car and expect any help from Suge...
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06/07/12 3:58 PM
Suge member Turbo Cunt Joined: 11/26/07 Location: The Rezervation Posts: 41,190	I have created a list specifically for the people I want to use as zombie bait. Pray that you are not on it.
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06/07/12 3:18 PM
invadered7 member Imma Poptart!!! Joined: 06/05/08 Location: Lyon France Posts: 2,288	My plan: Hop on a boat and head over to the channel islands. Zombies can't swim as far as I know, and even if they could walk underwater, they'd be crushed by the water pressure. So islands should be safe. In the event of an infection on the island, simply hop over to the next island. Now, to be even more cautious. I will try to sleep on or near the boat in case of infection on the island. Fishing for food would probably be the main source, and when supplies are needed, the mainland is only like 20 miles out. Smaller cities along CA would be great for gathering supplies. Not LA. In the event of running ut gas, I can simply put on sails. Unlike a car where you're our of gas, you're fucked. Island weather is moderate, so I can imagine planting food won't be a big problem. I think the biggest problem will be fresh water. Also loved the suit of armor. I had that thought the other day. Can that protect you against zombies? It shuld as they can't bite through metal right? Anyways, there's also theory where they can't survive cold weather. If needed, I can simply sail up north. But I think I can wait it out n the island until the zombies die out in some years and repopulate the earth. Yeeee!
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06/07/12 4:23 PM
Suge member Turbo Cunt Joined: 11/26/07 Location: The Rezervation Posts: 41,190	Zombies can't swim. They walk right into the water, and if they're not picked apart by sealife, they end up on a shore somewhere. I've seen it!
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06/07/12 4:10 PM
~Kimmeh~ member I'm a sexual, lets diddle Joined: 05/04/08 Location: The Mother Ship Posts: 13,519	Zombies are dead, of course they can survive cold weather. The island idea is great tho, but I'd say unless you have issues with not being on land anchor a house boat just off shore and use the sailboat for transport to and from land. You will need something to transport you on land tho, if you're looking for supplies you're need the protection and something to haul food and water back to the boat.
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06/07/12 5:51 PM
Suge member Turbo Cunt Joined: 11/26/07 Location: The Rezervation Posts: 41,190	We need to learn how to grow our own food. This is going to come in handy as well.
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06/08/12 4:29 PM
Suge member Turbo Cunt Joined: 11/26/07 Location: The Rezervation Posts: 41,190	My bike for the zombie apocalypse.
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06/11/12 7:51 AM
~Kimmeh~ member I'm a sexual, lets diddle Joined: 05/04/08 Location: The Mother Ship Posts: 13,519	No shit story... I'm sitting in the bath tub this weekend, relaxing and enjoying a hot bath when I look up and on the back of the toilet I see the words "Bath Salts", and was like WTF? It was part of a spa basket that I won like three years ago and this box has been sitting there this entire time!! I HAVE THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE SITTING ON MY TOILET!!!
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06/11/12 11:22 AM
Suge member Turbo Cunt Joined: 11/26/07 Location: The Rezervation Posts: 41,190	You better flush that shit and prey for forgiveness. I had to slap one of my nieces because she was going to take a bath with some bath salts. Now we're sending her to rehab for her little problem...
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06/11/12 7:17 PM
invadered7 member Imma Poptart!!! Joined: 06/05/08 Location: Lyon France Posts: 2,288	I think a nus/boat will be great to easily move from land to water. Also, the height would help.
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06/11/12 11:51 PM
Suge member Turbo Cunt Joined: 11/26/07 Location: The Rezervation Posts: 41,190	We have those in Seattle. I'll have to steal a few...
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