Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/17/2011 06:42PM by ThirteenSquared.

Amanda Fucking Palmer FTW! [www.youtube.com]


And a flash-mob no-pants subway ride! [mashable.com]



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/17/2011 11:10PM by PeedroPaula.

There are a few animal theifs caught on camera I should look up the one with the fox.

Not the best looking guy either. Wonder if he had to pay?

PeedroPaula posted:

lolz, More like "I lost my virginity....
to my unwilling cat."

^^ Fa Kin Su Pah!

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/24/2011 06:03PM by ThirteenSquared.

Another email find: LOL

_______________________



Anger Management


When you occasionally have a really bad day,

and you just need to take it out on someone,

don't take it out on someone you know,

take it out on someone you don't know,

but who you know deserves it.



I was sitting at my desk when I remembered

a phone call I'd forgotten to make.



I found the number and dialed it.



A man answered, saying

'Hello.'



I politely said,

'This is Chris.

Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?'



Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear

'Get the right f***ing number!'

and the phone was slammed down on me.



I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.



When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her,

I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.



After hanging up with her,

I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.



When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled

'You're an asshole!'

and hung up.



I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it,

and put it in my desk drawer.



Every couple of weeks,

when I was paying bills or had a really bad day,

I'd call him up and yell,

'You're an asshole!'



It always cheered me up.



When Caller ID was introduced,

I thought my therapeutic 'asshole'

calling would have to stop.



So, I called his number and said,

'Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company.

I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?'



He yelled

'NO!'

and slammed down the phone.



I quickly called him back and said,

'That's because you're an asshole!'

and hung up.



One day I was at the store,

getting ready to pull into a parking Spot.



Some guy in a black BMW

cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for.



I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot,

but the idiot ignored me.



I noticed a 'For Sale ' sign in his back window,

so I wrote down his number.



A couple of days later,

right after calling the first asshole

(I had his number on speed dial,)

I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too.



I said,

'Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?'



He said,

'Yes, it is.'



I then asked,

'Can you tell me where I can see it?'



He said,

'Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax

It's a yellow ranch style house and the car's parked right out in front.'



I asked,

'What's your name?'



He said,

'My name is Don Hansen,'



I asked,

'When's a good time to catch you, Don?'



He said,

'I'm home every evening after five.'



I said,

'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?'



He said,

'Yes?'



I said,

'Don, you're an asshole!'



Then I hung up,

and added his number to my speed dial, too.



Now, when I had a problem,

I had two assholes to call.



Then I came up with an idea...



I called asshole #1.



He said,

'Hello.'



I said,

'You're an asshole!'

(But I didn't hang up.)



He asked,

'Are you still there?'



I said,

'Yeah!'



He screamed,

'Stop calling me,'



I said,

'Make me,'



He asked,

'Who are you?'



I said,

'My name is Don Hansen.'



He said,

'Yeah? Where do you live?'



I said,

'Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax ,

a yellow ranch style home and

I have a black Beamer parked in front.'



He said,

'I'm coming over right now, Don.

And you had better start saying your prayers.'



I said,

'Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole,'

and hung up.



Then I called Asshole #2.



He said,

'Hello?'



I said,

'Hello, asshole,'



He yelled,

'If I ever find out who you are...'



I said,

'You'll what?'



He exclaimed,

'I'll kick your ass,'



I answered,

'Well, asshole, here's your chance.

I'm coming over right now.'



Then I hung up and immediately called the police,

saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax ,

and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.



Then I called Channel 7 News

about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd in Fairfax



I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax .



I got there just in time to watch two assholes

beating the crap out of each other

in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter

and surrounded by a news crew.



NOW I feel much better.

Anger management really does work.

Calderon08 posted:

LMAO that is good Lisa

Yeah, that's a keeper--lol! I was practically crying, I laughed so hard when one of the girls I work with, sent it to me. I found it even funnier when I sent it to my brother, because like the guy in the story, his name is also "Chris"--now I'm just waiting for his response.

Joan Cootes posted:

Lisa, you're an asshole!!! (sorry, Lisa, I don't really mean it, I just couldn't resist...)

Hey Joan----what's your phone #; can I call you??? LOL

(and if I'm an asshole, then you're the hair around it!!! HAHAHAHA! --kidding!)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/29/2011 07:50AM by LisaM..

LisaM. posted:

Joan Cootes posted:

Lisa, you're an asshole!!! (sorry, Lisa, I don't really mean it, I just couldn't resist...)

Hey Joan----what's your phone #; can I call you??? LOL

(and if I'm an asshole, then you're the hair around it!!! HAHAHAHA! --kidding!)

You're a bad bad woman...

LisaM. posted:

Another email find: LOL

_______________________



Anger Management


When you occasionally have a really bad day,

and you just need to take it out on someone,

don't take it out on someone you know,

take it out on someone you don't know,

but who you know deserves it.



I was sitting at my desk when I remembered

a phone call I'd forgotten to make.



I found the number and dialed it.



A man answered, saying

'Hello.'



I politely said,

'This is Chris.

Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?'



Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear

'Get the right f***ing number!'

and the phone was slammed down on me.



I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.



When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her,

I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.



After hanging up with her,

I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.



When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled

'You're an asshole!'

and hung up.



I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it,

and put it in my desk drawer.



Every couple of weeks,

when I was paying bills or had a really bad day,

I'd call him up and yell,

'You're an asshole!'



It always cheered me up.



When Caller ID was introduced,

I thought my therapeutic 'asshole'

calling would have to stop.



So, I called his number and said,

'Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company.

I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?'



He yelled

'NO!'

and slammed down the phone.



I quickly called him back and said,

'That's because you're an asshole!'

and hung up.



One day I was at the store,

getting ready to pull into a parking Spot.



Some guy in a black BMW

cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for.



I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot,

but the idiot ignored me.



I noticed a 'For Sale ' sign in his back window,

so I wrote down his number.



A couple of days later,

right after calling the first asshole

(I had his number on speed dial,)

I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too.



I said,

'Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?'



He said,

'Yes, it is.'



I then asked,

'Can you tell me where I can see it?'



He said,

'Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax

It's a yellow ranch style house and the car's parked right out in front.'



I asked,

'What's your name?'



He said,

'My name is Don Hansen,'



I asked,

'When's a good time to catch you, Don?'



He said,

'I'm home every evening after five.'



I said,

'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?'



He said,

'Yes?'



I said,

'Don, you're an asshole!'



Then I hung up,

and added his number to my speed dial, too.



Now, when I had a problem,

I had two assholes to call.



Then I came up with an idea...



I called asshole #1.



He said,

'Hello.'



I said,

'You're an asshole!'

(But I didn't hang up.)



He asked,

'Are you still there?'



I said,

'Yeah!'



He screamed,

'Stop calling me,'



I said,

'Make me,'



He asked,

'Who are you?'



I said,

'My name is Don Hansen.'



He said,

'Yeah? Where do you live?'



I said,

'Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax ,

a yellow ranch style home and

I have a black Beamer parked in front.'



He said,

'I'm coming over right now, Don.

And you had better start saying your prayers.'



I said,

'Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole,'

and hung up.



Then I called Asshole #2.



He said,

'Hello?'



I said,

'Hello, asshole,'



He yelled,

'If I ever find out who you are...'



I said,

'You'll what?'



He exclaimed,

'I'll kick your ass,'



I answered,

'Well, asshole, here's your chance.

I'm coming over right now.'



Then I hung up and immediately called the police,

saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax ,

and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.



Then I called Channel 7 News

about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd in Fairfax



I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax .



I got there just in time to watch two assholes

beating the crap out of each other

in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter

and surrounded by a news crew.



NOW I feel much better.

Anger management really does work.

This is... This is the greatest thing I've ever read! *tear*