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Josh from San Diego ..
An Open Apology To Trent Reznor
January 1, 2011
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I'm sitting on a train from New York City on my way to Philadelphia,
watching the beautiful scenery of New Jersey go by.
I'm about halfway through the Jeffy Freedom Tour that I started at the
beginning of the year. 25 cities down, 23 to go.
I feel good. Strong. Better.
At times it's been rough, but the experience has yielded the desired
results:
I've spread the word of RSD far and wide, winning hearts and minds on
the front lines.
My speaking skills have improved to a RIDICULOUS degree.
I'm smooth... in command. There are no "ums," "ahhhs," or "you knows"
in my lexicon any longer. I'm sharper. Tight like a mouse's hole.
I just MOVE differently up there.
People have noticed this. At the New York speech, one guy came up to
me afterwards and said, "Damn man, that was even better than the Jeffy
Show!" That's right... he said this about the little quickie two hour
free thing.
"Hey," I said, "Imagine how good my bit in the upcoming
Superconference is... it basically makes this look like RUBBISH."
Anyway, while I've definitely evolved and grown since The Jeffy Show
was recorded, I still consider it a masterpiece. I watched it recently
and to this day, I wouldn't change a thing about it.
Except ONE.
There's a bit near the end, where I'm discussing how I was shaped by some
tragic family experiences that happened in my teen years and how they affected
my perspective and attitude well into my mid-twenties.
I talk about how I was constantly seething with rage and hatred, how I
was full of self pity. And then, as I'm discussing this, I
sarcastically spout out, "NINE INCH NAILS!"
Now, it was a spontaneous comment, and frankly I was a bit overcome
with emotion at that particular point in the program and didn't really
think about the ramifications of what I was saying.
To someone watching at home, it might seem as though I was mocking the
seminal band led by Trent Reznor who in the nineties produced such
timeless chart-toppers as, "Head Like a Hole" and "Closer." Or as
though I was suggesting that they were in some way responsible for my
depression.
This is simply not the case. If anything, their music provided a
sort of outlet for the anger I was consumed by on a daily basis.
In retrospect, I think the reason that I blurted the band's name out
at that particular moment was to illustrate the power of what's
commonly referred to as the Reticular Activiation System, or RAS for
short.
The RAS is a psychological phenomenon by which our brains sort through
the overwhelming volume of information and sense-data we are
continually being assaulted with from the world at large. It decides
what is relevant and pertinent, and what is inconsequential. In other
words, it "separates the wheat from the chaff."
However, what exactly constitutes wheat and what constitutes chaff
(what the heck is that, anyway?) can and will vary immensely from
person to person.
Understand this: people become addicted to the emotional states that
they experience, that they *indulge in* the most. As they do so, their
RAS aligns with this, cueing in on the things in the environment that
are most likely to trigger those states.
Take the classic example of a guy who habitually gets "road rage."
He will be driving along, when all of a sudden, his attention is drawn
to the person in front of him, who he feels is not moving as quickly
as she should be. Dude SLAMS on his horn and unleashes a barrage of
profanity. The woman changes lanes and allows him to pass.
What does he do next?
He's calm for a moment, then immediately pulls up behind the NEXT guy
and slams on the horn again.
Thing is, he LIKES this. On the surface, he's angry and dissatisfied,
but deep down, indulging in this emotional state is gratifying to him
because he has become addicted to it.
He wants it.
And his RAS is happy to help him out by constantly scanning the
environment for things and events that will justify and/or enhance his
rage.
So when I was 21, living in a punk rock hovel, burning books in the
living room and putting cigarettes out on myself, listening to NIN's
"Broken" album (which Reznor produced while himself going through a
period of intense anger and resentment towards the world) nearly 24
hours a day was the perfect way to reinforce and enhance my
neverending state of frenzied indignation.
It's a great album. I still listen to it in the gym. But now, I use it
to enhance my workout and get myself into a peak state for throwing
iron around instead of for wallowing in self-pity and despair.
As a matter of fact, I'm listening to it right now in order to help me
write this newsletter. It's effing bad ASS.
So what does this mean for you? How's this information gonna help you
get the girlies?
Awareness of how the RAS functions can be the first step in getting a
handle on your "state" in the field, when you're out at the club
interacting with women.
Your state is all important when interacting with women, because
whatever YOU feel, THEY feel, due to various neurological processes
which I won't go into here.
If you want them to feel good around you (and subsequently get naked
around you hehe), you have to feel good FIRST.
Not scared. Not weird.
See, many guys when first starting out, head out to the club and it's
an unfamiliar, alien, intimidating environment.
The RAS, in an attempt to reinforce that prevailing belief and thereby
prevent you from attempting to take on new behavior patterns (that, to
your mind could present a threat to your very *survival*), will hone
in on and amplify things in the environment that support this.
"Oh, the music is too loud!"
"Ahhhhhh these people are cooler than me!"
"Oh man, those chicks are out of my league!"
Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
At first glance, this could seem quite disheartening, as though your
mind is sabotaging you.
The thing is, your mind is a TOOL that helps you navigate through the
world. You have to control IT, not the other way around.
Taking a proactive stance with regard to the reticular activation
system is the first step to turning your experience in the field
around 180 degrees.
Make the DECISION to comandeer it to work FOR YOU.
Instead of focusing on the negative aspects of the club environment,
ask yourself, "Why is this AWESOME?"
Ask yourself, "How can I make this FUN?"
Like the Bible says, "Ask and ye shall receive." Your mind WILL find
the answer.
This is a process that I had to go through in the early stages of my
pickup career.
At first, I would approach the club, and as I walked up I would get a
sinking feeling of dread. The thought going through my head was, "I
can't believe I'm going to do this. *gulp*"
Fast forward to today, and as I roll up to the club and hear the music
bumping inside, I think to myself, "Oh man, this is gonna be
awesome... what kind of crazy adventure am I gonna have tonight? What
bizarre characters am I going to meet? This is gonna be AWESOME."
The choice is yours.
Literally.
Wallow in self pity and angst?
Or direct your focus in a positive manner...
...and get RESULTS. That is, LAID.
So, without any further ado, here we go, my open apology to Mr. Trent
Reznor:
"Dear Trent Reznor,
My name is Jeffrey L. Allen IX. I work for a company called Real
Social Dynamics that teaches success with women. In a DVD product I
released last year, I refer to your band Nine Inch Nails in a mocking
and vaguely derogatory tone that would suggest I am denigrating your
many contributions to the musical world.
Nothing could be further from the truth. It is my sincere belief that
you are one of the most important artists of our generation, and feel
you are a modern day master of the form.
Your talent is quite frankly on par with the great masters of classical
composition. The style you pioneered, featuring the juxtaposition of
haunting, beautifully arranged melodies with some of the hardest
rock/industrial noise has been imitated by many since your arrival on
the scene, but these imitators are but mere pale imitations.
"Pretty Hate Machine" was groundbreaking. "The Downward Spiral" was a
masterpiece that I put on par with classic "concept albums" of yore
such as Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon." "The Fragile," while
perhaps not as commercially successful, showed a much broader range and
contained some of the most beautiful harmonies ever released on a
"rock" album. Subsequent efforts continued to dazzle; the most recent
album, which you so graciously released FOR FREE on the internet, was
no exception. And of course, who could forget the innumerable remixes
and B-sides which keep the fans' hunger satiated.
In short Mr. Reznor, I am deeply sorry and I apologize. Out of the
entire six hours of content that is The Jeffy Show, that comment is
the ONLY thing I would change.
Best wishes and may you continue to produce the music I so enjoy for
many years to come.
Sincerely,
jlaix"
Whew. It feels good to finally get that off my chest. My chest feels
light, similar to a bird that is light.
You know, I have a pretty weird job, if you stop to think
about it. Which is okay, cause I'm a pretty weird dude.
The average guy can't even IMAGINE what it's like, having to go
out there and put your money where your mouth is and your balls
on the line every weekend. If I fail, the student fails.
And I'm NOT about to let that happen.
Because while the challenge is intense, the payoff is more than
worth it. To know that you're actually making a difference in
someone's life.
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