rachkath posted:

If that is a real picture of you, you are a braver woman than I. Even if you are digitized.

neon66 posted:

First off, allow me to concur: you don't owe us jack shit.

neon66 posted:

Second question:

- Why Eric? I've been reading various theories on this wonderful Internet, but I'd much rather hear it from the actual source, rather than wade through all the delightful speculations.

[NOTE: I am not criticising/attacking/judging this initiative. I simply have no right, nor is it my place to do so, and I truly hope the guy gets better. The NIN community has proven to be a powerful one indeed.

But still, why Eric? There's Unicef, Amnesty, Cancer Fund, AIDS Fund, World Wide Foundation, etc. etc. Both people and animals dying on a daily basis. Why this particular case? Clearly, it is entirely up to you who or what you choose to support, and you don't owe anyone an explanation. I'm just asking this as one human being to another, hoping you'll consider a response.

gamerwoman3d posted:

ForeverEnder posted:

I am bummed not being able to read your ramblings anymore.

Worry not, good citizen! I'm sure he'll ramble again.

At any rate, it's time for me to stop receiving updates from Trent, which entails removing Trent and 20 of his incarnations (Including Pirate Trent, Yoda Trent, Gangsta Trent, ect.) from my twitter follow list. NO, I'm not doing this because of the engagement. I had been thinking about it before, and now seems to be an opportune moment.

The reason NIN has appealed to me for all these years is in part because I have very unstable, emotionally abusive parents. They would yo yo back and forth between telling me how prized I was, and how worthless I was. There was never any middle ground. To quote them verbatim, I would hear "You're our precious little girl, we wouldn't be anywhere without you!" and sometime later, "You should just die!" Then, when they'd see I was close to running away to never return, they would hug me, tell me they didn't mean it, and flop back to telling me how wonderful and special I was. So, depending on what mood they were in, I'd be praised for being such a wonderful soul, missed and loved, or I'd hear "I never want to hear from you again, I don't care if you break your fucking neck."

Now I get to Twitter, and Trent is a really cool guy, tells it like it is, gets me a good laugh for the day. But lately, the feeds resound and echo the homelife I ran away from. Not to quote verbatim as I do with my parents, but he keeps saying things like, "This wouldn't have been possible without you!" and talking about his faith in his fans. Moments later, he will decry the same fanbase as being worthless, and even in this post, imply that many of them should go kill themselves, suggesting they slice their wrists "along the vein." This is certainly not the first instance of Trent's hypertext assaults, even for the month. Twitter's starting to feel like home... in a bad bad way.

I left home for good a long time ago. I don't enjoy dwelling in the past, and yes, I am relieved that Trent isn't the same self-destructive person he used to be. But the pattern I see now doesn't appeal to me, either. If Trent is going to turn into the monster my dad had become, I'm not going to stick around to watch it. With the apathetic way that he can just point out the loyal fans that he has watched from the stage, the very people he claims supported him at every show, and call them ugly, fat, "TRULY ugly on the inside (the outside is obvious)," is appalling to me. I refuse to condone racism, threatening behavior, or delusions of entitlement towards other human beings. Those behaviors are disgusting, and certainly wrong. But so is verbal abuse, which is what we have here, in hypertext form.

It is no secret that these women have obvious self esteem issues. It is also no secret that women have a psychological issue associated with their appearance, and that women who are unhappy with their appearance will do drastic and very dangerous things to themselves if they think it will make them more appealing. Anorexia, crash dieting, cosmetic surgery, overuse of diet drugs, use of more dangerous drugs, use of dangerous or unproven cosmetics, and when all else fails, suicide has proven to be used often to end the aging process as well as the suffering of a woman with self esteem issues. He's got to know that the words he says hold power over the women that follow the tour from gig to gig, so the way I see it, he HAS to know that if he tells them they're all ugly and should probably kill themselves, they're going to believe it! [and to all the sycophantic bastards about to defend Trent's monstrous behavior- get serious or shut it. I'm talking life or death, here.]

I'm not saying the girls are particularly good people, but they're still people. No one deserves to be told that they should kill themselves by someone they look up to. I know this from experience because of my relationship with my dad. Trent needs to understand--because of his high level of interaction with these people, they started to consider him a friend. I'd hate to see the way these fans treat their real friends [supposing they can afford to have any with their issues], but for the past couple of years, Trent has really been there for his fans. That causes feelings of trust and appreciation. And now, the very man that the superfans trust, appreciate, admire, and sometimes even worship, is telling them that they are worthless and should kill themselves. This is a nightmare.

I understand why he did it, the emotional implications of being badgered and bogged down by delusional, greater internet fuckwads results in negative emotions. But Trent used to put those emotions in songs, and used that negative energy to create something positive for people. But now, he's redirecting that negative emotion through the internet and onto his fans, using the energy to crush sensitive and fragile emotions of peoples who were drawn to his cathartic music in the first place. So, who is the internet fuckwad, now?

Even though I don't feel like Trent was addressing this towards me [perhaps I should, seeing as I've never hidden my Reznor lust from the internet world], it still affected me in a negative way, in that now, I am wondering, should I feel sorry for everyone who has ever been loyal to him? Should I let myself feel appalled at his apathy, knowing full well some girl somewhere is probably going to kill herself over this and other issues eventually? I feel that none of this is worth wasting my time over any longer, and I feel should I drop my NIN fandom like a hot rock. The only reason I'm bothering to continue typing is because I know that this will most likely reach a few of Trent's attached [and now unwanted] fans, and convince them it's time to let go, that this isn't worth their effort anymore.

My biggest mistake in life was not running away from my parents sooner, but I was a kid then. I didn't know any better. It's different, now. I know what back-forth hot-cold manipulation and abuse look like. I'm not sticking around to watch this mess, and I highly recommend that a lot of his fans bail as well. Not all of them, but here's a little checklist, a guideline to know if you're the kind of fan that needs to (g)et (t)he (f)uck (o)ut while the getting out is easy:

1) If you feel like he called you fat - GTFO.
2) If you feel like he called you ugly - Time to bail.
3) If you feel like he called your girlfriend fat and ugly - Call charter on her behalf, and stay the hell off of nin.com.
4) If you put more than 80 hours of effort into any NIN fan project [Such as remix.com, Ghosts film festival, This One Is On Us fanvid, nin.com moderation, ect] and you feel let down, or not compensated enough for your effort, it is time to quit. Move on.
4a) If you put more than 80 hours of effort into any NIN fan project, GTFO, he's using you.
5) If you have a problem with his fiance, beat it. Not saying you're wrong for having your opinion of her, just saying that I can guarantee your opinion isn't going to change things for them.
6) If you're sick of the drama, time to go. (gee, guess that would include Trent, even.)
7) If you felt like he was breaking up with you during the fan interview with PapaGolash - Follow Trent's lead, and Wave Goodbye.
8) In general, if you're bummed that he's not single any longer, I would highly recommend you check into an actor by the name of Zachary Quinto. Chances are, you won't be coming ever back here once you do. Here's a link. [www.youtube.com]

In closing, I'd like to say my overall experience as a NIN fan has been great, and wish it could continue far into the future! But as someone who has been abused, unfortunately, I do not have the luxury of remaining within this environment that Trent has created with his genius. I credit the man with being an absolute hero, and will continue to do so. But if he can't handle the internet fans better than this, I believe it's time we all shake hands and walk away, while there is still some chance of civility left. I'm doing my part, and removing his feeds from my timeline, but please don't think I'm doing this for me alone. I am doing this for Trent, as well. On the most base level, if Trent feels I am a bad, and annoying fan, then I'm rewarding him with not having to deal with me. On the other hand, if Trent appreciated me as a good fan, helpful when I can be, putting effort into the fan community when I can, then the message I am trying to get across is that it is the duty of the good fans to walk away, and not obligate Trent to deal with the plethora of bad fans, just to interact with us. In essence, this is something that the good fans can sacrifice, that I believe will make everyone happier in the end.

Also, in order to de-bunk this theory of fuckwad anonymity, I'm PMing Trent and Rob my name, degree, and past two addresses: All that they would need to run a proper background check (or send out hitmen.)

With expressed appreciation to Trent for bringing us with him on his journey, and a wave goodbye,
Kristen M
~GamerWoman3D

edit: i decided to make the list a larger font so it stood out