Do you feel like you don´t fit in society?
 
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05/31/09 5:24 PM

honestly i feel like nobody understands me, although i have friends, i´m extremely antisocial, i like being alone, but i don´t feel identified with any people i know, (exept Trent xD), i´m the only guy in my shcool who likes NIN, but it´s deeper than that, as i said before, i feel like if nobody could undestand me, i see all my mates and they are all so fucking different to me, the way they see things, the way they think, it´s all so fucking different, i just feel that i don´t fit in in this fucking wolrd, i wish i could live in an island, away from the world, with a piano of course xD


i´m not very good at writing in english since i am argentinian, so i apologize for any mistake.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/31/2009 05:25PM by Eugenio_arg.

 

05/31/09 11:27 PM

Eugenio_arg posted:
honestly i feel like nobody understands me, although i have friends, i´m extremely antisocial, i like being alone, but i don´t feel identified with any people i know, (exept Trent xD), i´m the only guy in my shcool who likes NIN, but it´s deeper than that, as i said before, i feel like if nobody could undestand me, i see all my mates and they are all so fucking different to me, the way they see things, the way they think, it´s all so fucking different, i just feel that i don´t fit in in this fucking wolrd, i wish i could live in an island, away from the world, with a piano of course xD


i´m not very good at writing in english since i am argentinian, so i apologize for any mistake.

I completely understand what you are saying. I'm not much older than you are, and I can definitly relate. Up until the last year, I had spent the majority of my time alone, antisocial, and I felt like I hated people because, as you said, I felt like no one could possible understand or relate to me, and it was hard to get to know anyone because I felt like I had no common interests with anyone. So it felt impossible to strike up any sort of conversation with people my age, and therefore, it was extremely hard for me to make friends; not to mention the friends I had seemed to be interested in different things anyway.

One thing I've learned throughout my high school experience is that, most people are fake. You mentioned that you felt like your friends basically looked at life through a different set of eyes than you. It might seem this way, but I can almost guarantee you that these people are not much different from you at all. Some people mask who they are on the outside and get into certain things simply for acceptance. Maybe you just arent a fake person. You are who you are and you do what you do because you are real. Really, I think that at this age, everyone is searching desperately for a identity and a place to fit in. I can assure you that things will get better, and you'll find people that you can identify with, as long as you dont give up.

If you need someone to talk to, feel free to send me a PM.

 

05/31/09 11:58 PM

You're definitely not alone. It gets better over time when you learn to find a balance between surviving in our society and living the kind of life that makes you happy.

Most of the people you see that have a ton of friends probably aren't close with any of those people but just consider them casual acquaintances anyway. True friends with similar interests are hard for anyone to find.

 

06/01/09 12:55 AM

Grouch posted:
I completely understand what you are saying. I'm not much older than you are, and I can definitly relate. Up until the last year, I had spent the majority of my time alone, antisocial, and I felt like I hated people because, as you said, I felt like no one could possible understand or relate to me, and it was hard to get to know anyone because I felt like I had no common interests with anyone. So it felt impossible to strike up any sort of conversation with people my age, and therefore, it was extremely hard for me to make friends; not to mention the friends I had seemed to be interested in different things anyway.

One thing I've learned throughout my high school experience is that, most people are fake. You mentioned that you felt like your friends basically looked at life through a different set of eyes than you. It might seem this way, but I can almost guarantee you that these people are not much different from you at all. Some people mask who they are on the outside and get into certain things simply for acceptance.

I'm lucky to know a few good friends, but that's it. And once I graduate i can forget about making friends until I to college. And even then it will be difficult.
But I sure hope people mask who they really are. Because if they don't, and they really are the way they appear, then I'm hopeless.

But it gets easier man. You just have to put yourself into situations where you talk to more people and eventually you'll find that it's not so bad to change your outlook on life. I mean, you can still like the stuff you like but you're never going to get what you want unless you make some compromises. This doesn't necessarily involve not listening to NIN.

I don't know if this makes sense to any of you but it does to me. I've found that because I listen to a wide variety of music I like to think it keeps me somewhat attached to society. And it does. I don't listen to mainstream shit, but rather, all different kinds of genres including but not limited to: industrial, tango, old school hip-hop, electronica, trip-hop, latin, funk, turntablism. What I'm trying to say is that you just can't limit yourself to only one thing. When it came to music I realized I could listen to whatever the fuck I want and that's how I came to be the person that I am that no one knows about.

 

06/01/09 5:40 AM

All I can say as a crossdressing atheist is look around you, look at some of the people, chances are you're better off not fitting in. People and society have become self centered, narrow minded sycophants with an agenda and a sense of entitlement.

Learn to love your differences, and celebrate your abnormal behavior and embrace it, then let your freak flag fly!

 

06/01/09 7:12 AM

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Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/04/2011 09:44AM by themikenesedude.

 

06/01/09 8:27 AM

I don't particularly fit into society. I can function in it, but society is not optimized for someone like me - or anyone with similar priorities, personality, or lifestyle. When I look around the world, what I notice is that most of the framework of human existence (including everything from urban design, to social conventions, and hours of work) are a bunch of big, pathetic, woefully obvious mistakes. It gets tiresome to walk around and observe one big fuckup after another. Thankfully there are some redeeming accomplishments and individuals to help offset these blatant (and oft-repeated) failures.

As people have already mentioned in this thread, people who seem to have a lot of friends actually have a lot of shallow acquaintances. A large number of people on, say, a Facebook friend list is not actually composed of real/close friends. There was a study about this recently which confirmed that observation. There's some people I know with 200+ friends on Facebook. The reality is they are not good friends with them all. Except for under 10 people, they're almost all folks the person barely knows or interacts with since they add people with little discrimination. So, don't be fooled by someone who seems to have too many friends. They're not actually friends, they're casual acquaintances.

A lot of the time, I have a very take it or leave it feeling when it comes to dealing with people (at least, compared to the norm) and often prefer to do things independently. Usually, I find people too drama-prone and I can't be bothered with that. Depending on the circumstance, I often have a much better time when other people aren't involved. I've noticed a lot of INTJs have similar neutral feelings about people in general. Perhaps you are one too? cool smiley Know your personality and how it can shade your outlook on the world.

What may help you is learning over time where to find those people who might become close/good friends, and becoming familiar with any consistent signs of them so you can keep your eyes peeled. Always pay attention to the trends over time of where/how you meet people you enjoy spending time with. Learn from it. For the rest of your life, people will enter and leave your life all the time due to moving, changes in the synchrony of your life stages, coincidence, and choice, so it's important to not let your friend-making skills ever get rusty. It may take a long time, but eventually you will come across people - true friends - who don't feel like a waste of time.

Personally, I've found hobby/pastime/interest associations and clubs to be great ways to meet like-minded people. Plus, friends will sometimes refer you to friends of theirs you have even more in common with than you do with them.

If you really can't stand society in the long term, start your own intentional community or join one that meets your desires. There's plenty out there. Also, travel to get some perspective in life about what does and doesn't work in various societies. Sometimes the grass looks greener on the other side when in reality it's just a set of different problems.

 

06/01/09 2:12 PM

Raping the people that don't like you will help you be accepted

 

06/01/09 7:27 PM

thanks everyone for answering and giving your opinion and support.

i don`t feel lonely, i just sometimes feel that i am, alone, because i don`t feel identified with any guy i know, but that doesn`t bother me much, it`s just that as everyone around me is so different, or at least that that`s the way i see them, i feel like i don`t fit in society, that i`m different to the ordinary people, that`s why i like being alone, but it doesn`t bother me. i have lots of friends too, but as i`ve already said i don`t feel identified with them, anyway i get on really good with them and they are really cool, what pisses me off is that with none of them i can really talk about my problems or things that i consider serious, as they think in a different way they wouldn`t understand me and wouldn`t be able to give an opinion about that.

 

06/01/09 8:33 PM

According to your profile, Eugenio_arg, you are 16. I am, as well. I feel the same way every day when I hear the music most people are into, see the books they read, hear the way they talk, look at the pathetic lives they lead. I always feel I've been born in the wrong time or that I should at least be about 40 or so years older, so I have an excuse for my interests.
Most of the time I comfort myself by saying it's just because I'm an awkward teenager, and I'm sure age probably has something to do with it simply because we don't really have a way [other than the NINternet lol] to find people who are similar. But, then I listen to some NIN or Einstürzende Neubauten and remember that a couple decades ago, those guys probably felt the same way.
So, just wait it out. Then, when we're all adults, we can form a Utopia and take over the world.

 
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